Wednesday, August 25, 2021


I have to admit...I'm not that happy. I am often frustrated with Jimmy. I cannot seem to get on the same page with him. I am grateful that he puts up with me and sticks around. No one has ever done that before. But sometimes I just don't get him. I am tired of having to be very specific and correct when I ask him to do things. I am annoyed that I have to ask him to do so many things that are normal household tasks. I cannot tell if I'm overreacting, if this is normal, if this is a result of being with only him and basically no one else for 1.5 years (!!!). Objectively, he is a thoughtful and generous person. He is socially awkward. He gets too buried in work and he doesn't always listen to me. He isn't perfect. But I tell him, every day can't be a rough day, which is how he describes most of his work days. If every day is equally rough, what does that mean? He gets annoyed if I ask him a question at the wrong time, but how I am supposed to know what the "right" time is? Sometimes when I ask for his help, he gives me answers I can't understand. I wanted his help to rent a shared van. He said, "it's not available most of the morning or afternoon but we can get one 5 miles away." Um...what? I say, "when is it available?" Not in the morning. Ok, but WHEN? Turns out, it's available after why not reserve it then since I have no particular time frame?  Why not ask me more questions about when I need the van or give me enough information so I can decide if the timing is feasible? This is so many interactions with him, where I'm feel like I'm begging for more details. And when it's something more personal, I get an answer like, "I'll do better." When I ask what that means, specifically, I'm met with shrugs and silence. Is this normal? Is this bad? Will this get better? 

Grateful for: a chance to write. 

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