I wish I could say everything is fine but it's not. It's just that there's nothing to do about it. My father is entering his second childhood. At least he seems happy rather than angry. I can tell he is frustrated sometimes and confused. He can still function pretty well by himself but I wonder how much longer he'll be able to go for a walk and not get lost. Since there is literally nothing to be done--he has seen doctors and they do what they can--it's upsetting but I move right to acceptance. I'm sad for me and for him...but he's still with us and he's still him so I'm grateful for that. I mean, I can't have the same kinds of conversations we used to but we can have conversations. He still knows me. That's something.
My niece is most definitely in an emotionally abusive relationship. This is more upsetting because we should be able to do something...yet we can't. Her mother is angry, sad, and frustrated. I feel the same--but those words don't really my feelings adequately. Like with my dad, these are feelings I don't know that I've had very often. You want so bad to just make it stop. To pluck her and the kids out of there house and take them away to somewhere safe, but you can't. You can't if she won't allow it. You can't if she has stopped talking to her family. You can't if you live in another country and don't even fully understand her culture and way of life. Really you can't do anything but feel sad and exhausted and ready to cry if you think about it too long.
Yeah, this isn't a fun trip. These trips to Israel never are but this one is something special. It does emphasize to me that I need to start taking a more active role keeping up the family connections. I relied on Dad and his wife to do that. Dad can't anymore and his wife is overwhelmed. So, I have been getting everyone's phone numbers and email. I will start calling more often. I will offer my ear and my love. That is what I can do.
Grateful for: hope.