Saturday, October 17, 2015


The last couple of weeks have been a bit overwhelming. I was in Alabama for work less than a week after I came back from my eventful NY visit. I had a couple of days downtime. Worked from home on a Friday. Cleaned the house the best I could over the weekend. Went to a party on Saturday afternoon that lasted into the night. Recovered and cleaned some more on Sunday. Then to Alabama--the last state I had left on my list. That's right--I've officially been to all 50 states now--meaning at a minimum I ate a meal there, though usually it also means I spent the night. Back from AL, I went the next day to a wedding. I drove there--it was only 1.5 hours away. Spent the night. Drove back and went straight to the company picnic. Then home to our 2nd annual block party. I was so tired!

The next day both Spesh and my eldest brother (B1) arrived for visits. I had space and they said it was ok. Other than sleeping in the same room, they didn't interact much. B1 was busy doing work things and seeing friends other than me. Doubt I would've been included in more even if Spesh weren't around, so perhaps the timing was fortuitous.

That meant that every night--Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday--was a social event. In the mean time, some texting with the guy from NY. Sporadic because he's in a kind of hell while his 20-something sibling slowly and painfully departs this world. Then also texting with a guy I met 2 years ago. We had one bizarre but not terrible date. He sent me a naked pic and I cut him off. I never blocked his number, though. He texted me on Saturday and didn't know who I was at first, but he remembered me. He was not quite as frantic as I remembered. He played nice and we ended up getting together on Thursday--the day after everyone went home. Well, Spesh went to another friend. Same friend who he stayed one night with on his last visit. And it pissed me off to no end that time. This time, I still didn't like it, but at least I was mentally prepared. I met them all for dinner Wednesday and then went off to a mixer for a dating site and it was pretty terrible.

On Thursday, I could barely move. I was just wrung out. But work was also non-stop. I worked from home. And in the late afternoon, I met Simon. I'm not really sure what I was thinking but I don't regret seeing him. We had a good time and the date ended early enough that I still got a good night's sleep.

I worked from home again on Friday. I had a headache but also the thought of going to the office made me clench my jaw and introduce a whole other kind of pain. I made some coffee, took all my calls, answered all my emails, and even did some of my report editing. That damn report will be the death of me. I don't even know how many hours I've spent on it by now. The whole thing is absurd.

Simon did text me the next day, like he said he would. I gave him the chance to show me. But I don't even know what I think about him. He's interesting. He is probably not boyfriend material. But neither is the guy in NY, who doesn't even really live in NY. And Spesh already has a new girlfriend because of course he does. It was good to see him. I ribbed him a little but we didn't fight. He said he was missing the intellectual stimulation of having me (and another old friend, Will) around. That was nice. I actually miss that too. I don't think I get the kind that interaction with any of my other friends...though my life doesn't feel like a vapid unstimulating wasteland. It feels spotted with good friends I don't see enough and a variety of new friends and activities that keep me jumping. I want things I don't have, but the things I have are good. I'm not lonely. Even if I miss Spesh, Seattle friends, and random men who I will never see again.

Grateful for: a full social life.

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