Tuesday, September 08, 2015


Right, so is this still a dating blog? I can't figure out if things are great or terrible at the moment. I have such a strange feeling--it's like I'm on the edge of something.

First, work. No news from that great made-for-me in Seattle job. Starting to think I won't get the offer. I'm a little disappointed but it's ok. I haven't done all the other thinking and pushing needed to find other Seattle-based offers. Did I lose steam? I suppose. But I'm not giving up the idea entirely. I also asked for what I wanted at my new job--a clarification of my role in the organization and a transfer to the group that does work in my subject area. And they said yes. All I had to do was email the CEO, two VPs, and a director. Literally the same day I made my specific requests, I was called into a meeting with the CEO, one VP, and two directors. We discussed my project, my role, and my placement--and they said yes. Such a weird feeling. I will keep managing my horrible project but I will get more support. I won't do new work in this current group. It's SO different than at the old job where I spent 2 years trying to get them to accommodate me and never once was successful. This is a good thing about the new place. Yet, I don't really want to stay here. Sigh.

Second, dating. The Labor Day weekend was something of a dating spectacular. I don't think I've ever in the history of the blog--or in my life--had so many dates in such a short span of time. I met all of the guys online. They had a pretty narrow age span (30-35), but one 41-year-old outlier. All seemed like decent people. Two were explicitly looking for something more like an "arrangement" than a steady relationship, but all were open to the possibility. The run down:

D1: met him Friday, late afternoon. We'd chatted a bit over the week prior to the meeting. He did what I would call "long form" texting. Much longer texts than the average person, full of personal information. I actually had a pretty good sense of what he was like before we met. We were originally supposed to meet on Monday, but he cancelled, so I was pre-annoyed. But he kept our Friday date to the minute and I got over myself. We had a good time. I talked a lot and he laughed at my funny stories. He's good looking, 35, and not available for regular dating (we had a long text-chat about what he is available for). I liked him fine and after our date I let him know I'd be happy to see him again. He responded similarly but I haven't heard from him since. I am fine either way. I don't intend to contact him again.

D2: met him later on Friday. That's right--1 day, 2 dates! This was a quick meeting because he works a swing shift and we met on his "lunch" break. He was even younger (31), said in his profile he wasn't looking for something serious--but everything about him screamed serious to me. The "I want to be your boyfriend" vibe was almost palpable. But...but...I didn't want to be his girlfriend. Lots of reasons--mostly I didn't feel a strong connection and I didn't find him attractive. He was ok and sweet in a way, just not for me. I told him today I wasn't interested and he was so gracious about it--wished me luck and told me I was exactly his physical type. Kind of too bad I wasn't into him.

D3: met him on Saturday evening. We started talking Saturday morning and had a very interesting email exchange. Then he asked what I was up to in the afternoon. I was just puttering around getting the house ready for a cook-out on Sunday, so I said "nothing," and we made plans. Our plans got shifted to the evening after I exhausted myself weeding (because I'd been sick and near-sedentary for a week). Anyway, we had a bite to eat, a little walk, and a decent conversation. No connection--thus I'm not surprised I haven't heard from him. Too bad--he was the 41-year-old.

D4: we met on Monday morning (Labor Day!) for coffee. I was pretty knocked out due to the amount of sangria I drank during my cookout, but I wasn't going to cancel. We'd had a pretty light-weight email exchange going for a week or so. No great hopes and also he was young (30). The meeting was ok...he asked a lot of questions and I got going...and at one point he said, "Do you wan to ask me anything? You've said most of the words...but I did ask..." Huh, nice way of saying I talk to much? I didn't care, but then I steered the conversation back to him and he said plenty. He also thinks Forrest Gump is a good movie. I don't think we're a match. I also haven't heard from him again and probably won't.

And that isn't all...three weeks ago, I met a guy for a pre-work coffee at Union Station. He was just passing through from New Zealand. We'd had a great and funny chat and I really wanted to meet him. Our coffee date was short...but I definitely liked him and would've seen him again under other circumstances.  After our date, I felt a little melancholy. So odd. We kept up a regular text-chat while he was still roaming around America. Since he got back to NZ, we've had an occasional chat via FB. Right--we are FB friends. I also had his email and full name within maybe an hour of meeting him online. Those Kiwis are really guileless. I think it must be from coming from such a small place...or an island? I don't know. But the folks from the big cities and the small towns (at least the half dozen more or less who I've met) all have this quality. Anyway, early on he gave me his email because I said I might like to visit NZ. And we've talked about it since, in a sort of roundabout way. I started checking airfares yesterday. Would I really go to NZ in a month because I met this random person online? I have wanted to go for quite a while (you'll remember why). I wouldn't be going to visit him, new guy, exactly. But I suppose I would stay with him at least some of the time...and who knows what would happen. Would it be any crazier than everything else I'm contemplating? Certainly less permanent...

And that's not even all. There is someone else I've corresponded with for over a month who I've gotten attached to in an abstract way. I'll say more about him if we ever meet.

And then, today, I struck up a conversation with a guy who seems great--interesting, smart, well-traveled--we will try and meet next week. Neither of us has time before I head to NJ to visit family this weekend. In as much as any of these guys have potential, he does. What the what?

I'm exhausted.

Grateful for: so many dates.

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