I'm back at my coffee shop, which isn't a coffe shop at all. It's Union Market and I got here a bit too late to easily find a table...but I did eventually suceed. I want to put something a little happier out in the universe after my last post, but what can I say, I am finding dating very discouraging. I keep meeting people online who seem ok, and then in real life, it's a total bust. Two weeks ago I had a date that went pretty well, but when he never called again, I was more relieved than disappointed. Last week, I had a date that went poorly and I was relieved when it was over. Today, I was supposed to have a date--first he delayed and then he canceled. So annoying. Maybe I will have a date with a different guy tonight and possibly a third guy tomorrow. Both of those are probably dates I shouldn't have made because the guys are too young for anything long term. I've been open to other things but I wonder if that's why I'm so disatisfied now. I don't want a date or two or three here and there. I want one relationship with one person to last a long time. People do it all the time and even people at my age seem to manage it anew, so I'm going to try and stay hopeful and positive rather than needy and pessimistic. Yeah, good luck with that.
Work is also pretty frustrating at the moment. I keep butting heads with "Laura." She is the woman who used to be the project manager for the project I now manage. It's clearer and clearer to me that she's in an impossible position and nothing we do is going to make it easy for her to continue on the project. I'm almost 100% sure that she has to go...but how can I help her exit gracefully? She is already pissed at me...and I'm not very happy with her either. I understand that she wants autonomy--been there!--but that is a bit different than me only having the most general idea of what she's up to. This has to change, I've asked for transparency, but she continues to resist and undermine my ability to manage the project. I'm not sure what the next steps are but I'm working on it.
The real problem with all of this is that I'm back in the same situation as I was in my old job. My work is consuming, and my personal life is kind of a bore. At least a lot of work is actually intersting now--but this personal/personnel issue is starting to overwhelm everything else. I'm getting stressed out and feeling more and more on edge. It's not good, it's not healthy and it has to stop. Man, I really wish I had a boyfriend. Sigh.
Well, total fail on the cheerfulness front! Guess I'll move on to the next exciting part of my day--cleaning the house. Hooray.
Grateful for: a good job and a decent place to live.