Monday, April 29, 2013


The blog helped me get happy during a very unhappy time. I'm in another unhappy time and maybe it will help again. I think that's why I've kept the blog unlike so many of the blog friends I had during my first couple of years. I was reading some old entries the other day and I talked about "good blog friends" who I don't remember--and when I clicked the links to refresh my memory, their blogs were gone. I also see that I'm learning the same lessons over and over. When I get right up close to something--be it a boy or a job--I can't see clearly at all. At least that hasn't changed. I have good decision making tools but I fail to apply them to myself. In life, you don't get a counter factual.

Often I can see clearly what a friend should do. So I've talked to a lot of friends about this job decision.

Alicia: you're miserable. Take the new job. Your personal happiness is more important than other considerations.

Nancy: you're miserable. You're bored. You're scared. Take the new job.

Diego: you've worked hard to get where you are. Stay and see if the detail to TR helps. Leave in six months if it doesn't. Ask the new job to give you more time.

ER: spend some time thinking. Make a list (done!). You can stay and use the six months to figure out what you really want to do.

Dad: you have two good options. You can't go wrong.

I desperately want someone to tell me what to do. Two friends have done exactly that. Why don't I listen to them? Are the others just being gentle and telling me what I want to hear? I know I'm not bored. Scared, a little, but both options are scary!

Why is this so difficult?

Grateful for: a place to think this through.


  1. Since I only "know" you through the blog, I'm not in a position to tell you what to do. But I do have two observations. First, both choices seem like they leave you better off than you are now, and I hope that provides some comfort. Second, you seem to view work in large part as a vocation--that is, something to do because of its value to you, and not simply as a way to earn money to do the other things you want to do. So I'd put substantial weight on whatever choice allows you to achieve professionally what you want to do, even if it involves some degree of uncertainty and discomfort.

    Good luck and very best wishes on your decision!

    1. So, Dad is right, that both options are good--as in they are better than the status quo. I mean, I know I am LUCKY to have this problem! But I don't want to act out of fear--in either direction. Fear of the unknown or fear of losing a chance to do good work--or fear of hating the new work. It's important to me that my work be socially worthwhile (this isn't really a vocation--but close enough)--and it probably would be in either case.

      I'm actually pretty flattered by your comment. I think you get where I'm coming from, even if you don't know me "IRL." :)


Anonymous comments will be rejected. You don't have to use your real name, just A name. No URL is required; enter your name and leave the 'url' line blank. Thank you.