Monday, January 28, 2013



Sitting in my favorite coffee shop, after eating the marvelous Sunday lunch, I catch sight of an unhappy couple. They are not quite facing each other. The both stare into middle distance. His hand on his thigh--I keep thinking he's going to reach out and touch her thigh, but he never does. Her hands clasped under her chin and half covering her mouth. They sit silently for many minutes, expressions flat, never looking at each other.  Makes me think how good it is not to be there--in that terrible unhappy couple place.

What does it mean that I'm seeing this little scene unfold as I'm on my way to meet someone for a second date?


I'm home sick, yet again. This time, I'm really sick, not just sick of work and my boss. (Still working on that--the wheels turn slowly.)

Right--that date, shouldn't I write about it? I wonder if this is a fellow I'll ever tell about the blog. Would he read it? Would he get it? Does he even get me? What does that even mean? And how long has it been since I've been on a second date? That's nuts.

Anyway. I like this guy.  He's a professional writer, with a day job writing boring stuff that I'm sure he's good at but that he finds dull. He's been at it for years. In his spare time, he writes screenplays.  Now, he's not any kind of hipster. He's a little awkward and formal in his emails (which are well written). He is considerate and measured. Our first date ended with a handshake, the second, a hug.  That feels right. It also feels like we will see each other's a no brainer. What I'm not so sure about is if we're moving in a romantic direction...but what am I saying? Of course we are. I'm the normal amount of unsure about whether that's a good idea, but I suppose if things keep keep going slowly, I'll have a chance to figure it out. I think if I hadn't been sick last night, we might jumped past the hug all the way to a kiss, but I hesitated at the crucial moment and hug it was.

On our first date, we spent well over 50% of the time talking about movies. Not surprising, given his screenwriter-ly aspirations and my movie-watching hobby.  At one point he said, "we could sit here and talk about movies all day." I agreed! I told a friend about this remark and he, "do you think he was trying to talk about something else? That it was his way of trying to change the subject?" I hadn't thought of that, but it didn't matter. I knew we'd see each other again (to go to the movies, natch') and I enjoyed our movie conversation.  He (my date) also said that he thought I'd seen more movies than he had, which I took as a compliment.

So what's next? I guess I could send the next email, or I could wait. Right now, I haven't decided. I suppose if I don't hear from him today, I'll email him tomorrow.

Oh, I will say, there are some question marks about this guy--not about his character--but he has some quirks that may be of long term concern. Then again, who doesn't? I will also say that he's awoken my desire to talk to friends about who I'm dating, but more in a, "I'm happy I like someone" way than a "Am I crazy for thinking this person's behavior is bizarre?" mode. Ah, refreshing!

Grateful for: time to think.


  1. Congrats on getting a second date. I can't remember how long since you wrote of one on the blog, so I won't try. If you get a third date, please let us know!

    1. Well, I think I've had second dates in the last year, but none that I bothered to write about. I haven't liked most of the people I've been out with very much recently, which is the big difference.


Anonymous comments will be rejected. You don't have to use your real name, just A name. No URL is required; enter your name and leave the 'url' line blank. Thank you.