Monday, November 19, 2012

Date night

I had a date last night and I have a date scheduled for tonight.

On the site that shall remain nameless, I had a bizarre email exchange that ended in, essentially, a lecture from a man who thought I needed to understand the patriarchal underpinnings of (historical) marriage. That's right, because what woman would have a clue about that? Oh sigh.

The date last night was fine. I think he was kind of sweet but it was hard to tell because there were a lot of long pauses. Several times I suspected he was going to say, "this is awkward!" but before he could, I'd take a deep breath and introduce yet another mundane conversation topic (cars, neighborhood, work). I should have done a lot of things differently, like ask him more questions about himself, or not agreed to go to dinner after we had a drink, but overall we had an ok time. At the end of the date he asked me if I wanted to get together again. The best I could do was say, "sure!"  I demonstrated a decided lack of enthusiasm and he could tell. He said, "Isn't that a normal thing to do at the end of a date--to ask about getting together again?" Well, yes, but maybe it's better to say that you had a nice time and wait until later to ask for the second date. Of course, if I'd been totally smitten with him, I would've been thrilled if he'd introduced the idea of a second date, so I can't really criticize him for that. I can't tell you why he didn't quite do it for me. He was cute, though not gorgeous, a little round on the edges, but in a adorable way. He just didn't seem happy, at all. He also seemed a little smug but also oddly ignorant. None of that would disqualify him from future dates--though being an unhappy person is a poor recommendation. In fact, I would definitely go out with him again if he asked me. The extreme awkwardness was certainly part of the problem and if we could get to know each other a little better, something could develop.  The odds are low but I'd be open to it. Yet, I sort of doubt I'll hear from him again. My "sure" was a killer and I don't know if I'd be calling up the guy who gave it to me either.

The date tonight--I have zero hopes for this guy. He is wildly enthusiastic about meeting me, though, and I'm a sucker for that. Here's to hoping I'm wrong. (Unfortunately, I'm never wrong.)

I should also mention that I met a fellow at a happy hour earlier this week who is a potential potential. We had met before, long story, and got along then too. This time, we talked more and still got along. I enlisted the help of our mutual friend to facilitate another meeting and another happy hour was planned almost imediately. I have some excellent friends.

Grateful for: friends!

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