I want to write something happy. I planned and executed a 4th of July cook out that went quite well. I stressed a little but I had plenty of food, 17 guests from all walks of my life, and everyone had a good time.
Yet, I'm really unhappy knowing my ex-bf is engaged. He's the one I had the least relationship conflict with, which is part of why it's so hard to take. The other part, well, let's not get into that.
Then, today, I go get a long overdue haircut and it went all wrong. I wasn't happy. I wasn't angry, just sad and regretful. I knew as soon as it was done that it was all wrong. Her boss had to 'fix' it leaving me with much, much shorter hair than I'd planned It shouldn't matter. I don't want to care. I go to the cheap teaching place because it's cheap, but also because they usually do a good job. In this case, the job is good, but not what I wanted. And it's totally fucking emblematic of how off kilter everything is in my life. I don't want to be a misery, but I am. And--does my hair look ok or not?
Grateful for: first world problems.