Monday, December 12, 2011


Last night, I dreamt that I was standing in line at a film festival with my boyfriend.  I had to leave him in the line to hold my place while I left and found our tickets. When I got back to him, we had to balance our making out with standing in line.

I'm pretty sure this dream is directly related to: the cute guy I spent almost an entire party flirting with on Friday and all the tv I watched over the weekend. One show involved people standing in line to buy something and some of them were kissing. The other show was about unrequited and impossible love, but in the end it all worked out.

I guess I'm hoping that will be the story of my life. So far, it's all been unrequited or impossible love. But it's bound to work out eventually, right?

On Friday, I went to two parties, which lead to possibly the most I've drunk in one day in my entire life.  Not that I was counting.  The first party was for my office and held at TR's house. I worked at home in the morning, baked cookies and walked over to the party. My ex-bf who works in my office was there and I gravitated towards him. I don't know why. He is good looking, sure, but married and not appealing to me. After the first two glasses of wine, I mentioned that my last boyfriend was  a Republican and added, "No offense, but I'm a terrible picker."  The ex gave a slight start and then laughed heartily and said, "None taken!"

The second party was held by the girlfriend of a fellow in my newer group of friends.  Not sure why she invited all of his buddies, but it was a nice gesture. As I mentioned above, I spent most of the night focusing my attention on one boy, who was age-inappropriate--like everyone else there (ok, you tell me--is 14 years younger age-inappropriate? What about 10?).  He was one of maybe four single people at the party. Two of those were friends and already deemed out of contention.  The other single guy did seem interested in me at one point and I did shine some of my light his way, but I was already deeply committed to my other flirtation. I've always had a one-track flirting mind. (Thinking back, I may have been the only single woman there. Wow.)

Yet, even though we left at the same time, he made no gesture or overture of interest. No vague future plan was mentioned and no numbers or emails were exchanged. When we parted, I thought, "If I were 17, I'd be calling the host and getting his info." Later I realized that I could easily find him on facebook. But I didn't because my friend Nancy counseled me (after tsking me for the age-inappropriateness) to "find someone who wants it so much, he pursues you."

But I wonder about this advice. Why can't I pursue him? I'm not aiming high. I'm just a little lonely. I'd like to make out with someone while standing in line at the film festival of my dreams. Is that too much to ask?

Grateful for: friends who care.


  1. Hi Jamy!

    It has been about a year since I posted on your blog. Just wanted to let you know, even though we have never met, our paths are still crossing. Still single, still in a job I am not found of, still trying to do life on life's terms. I am not sure why some people so easily find relationships or have the right job. The older you get the more difficult each of these is harder to obtain. I too, am having similiar dreams of someone coming into my life. I am also having difficulty with being attracted to guys who are way to young for me. I don't under stand why I get a long with them so well. I think the feeling is mutual, they just don't want to date an older women. As your friend says...they are not interested enough to pursue it. Anyway, I just wanted to chime in....


  2. Hey RL--thanks for dropping a note. It's always good to hear from you. :)


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