Let’s not talk

Sometimes, it’s too bad that I don’t talk about sex more on this blog. If I did, I’d have some amusing stories about my time in Europe. I’d have lots of stories about awkward beginnings and unhappy endings. Stories featuring my tendency to laugh at inopportune moments or blurt out blunt opinions at vulnerable junctures. I have lots of funny stories I can tell about my own behavior without providing too much detail about the behavior of the men involved. That’s the thing, I don’t tell those stories because they reveal too many personal details about the other parties. I also like to keep some things private and I think it’s important to draw a pretty strict line and not cross it, even on a blog that’s purportedly about dating.

That’s why it’s annoying that I can’t fully share the details of an email I received earlier today. It was from a fellow I haven’t seen or heard from in years. I went on a couple of dates with him and kissed him once. I wrote about him on the blog. He seemed to get unhealthily obsessed with me and after he didn’t take my hints, I had to give him a formal, clear, “NO.” He did stop getting in touch with me after that so I never thought I would hear from him again. (I just perused the archives and the full story about “SL,” so named for his offer to give me Spanish lessons, can be found in October 2007. Holy cow.)

Anyway, this morning, I got an email from SL. It was short and involved a request to have a particular kind of sexual encounter with me. Apparently he doesn’t “know any woman as open minded” as me, so he thought he should ask. He’s not gay, but he’s been curious about this one thing for a long time. I should let him know if I'm willing! No hard feelings if I'm not interested.

I so wish I hadn't gotten the email (rest assured, he is blocked forever now). It was an icky way to start the day. I just…look, if you are in a sexual relationship with someone, then such a request wouldn’t be unreasonable. Even if you’d had a sexual relationship with the person in the past, it would be a bit out of left field, but possibly not crazy. But, this was nutty. First, we never had sex—we kissed, once. Second, I haven’t had any contact with him in over three years. Third, back when we were in contact, I made it clear I wasn’t interested in a physical relationship.

I hope you enjoy speculating about what he asked me to do but please don’t share your guesses in the comments. I have to draw the line somewhere.

Grateful for: making the right decision.