Wednesday, March 17, 2010


Have I been MIA or what?

I made the decision not to play soccer this season and instead I've plunged into dancing again. It's been ages since I went regularly. I'm not sure why I dropped it...but mostly, it exhausted me. The smiling at strangers, the waiting to be asked to dance, the dancing with the bad dancers, the dancing with the lesson-givers, the avoiding the unpleasant guys--it was too much and I couldn't deal.

Something has changed radically for the better, though. I'm dancing more, smiling more and actually making friends. What a surprise!

I am in two beginner classes. One is a refresher (for me) and I am more suited for the next level--but I like to start at the beginning and that is fine. In this class, I've made friends with a couple, and am seen as friendly enough to dance with all of the other beginners who stick around for the social dance that happens after class is over. I talked a lot with two of these guys about how to dance and I gave them helpful advice--all at their request. So, even though they are bad dancers (new dancers usually are), I don't mind dancing with them. They are pleasant and friendly and seem to appreciate what I have to offer. The couple is pretty awesome and the guy rides an old Vespa, which means that we immediately bonded. Excellent.

The other class is a new dance for me. The participants aren't quite as friendly but it's fun to learn something new. I stick around for the dance after that class too and I have finally, kinda sorta, asked one or two guys to dance. This is how I do it. I stand next to the guy at the beginning of a song. I make eye contact. I smile and cock my head towards the dance floor while raising an eyebrow. The guy then takes my hand and we dance. Hey, works for me!

I also realized that I have a little crush on a guy. He is in neither of my classes, but for the last two weeks, has been at both dances. All four times I've seen him, he's asked me to dance twice each evening. The culture at these dances is one dance and move on, unless you're friends or a couple or something. When I caught a glimpse of him last night, my heart did a tiny little flutter. I was pleased indeed when he asked me to dance the first time. I was even more pleased when he asked me the second time. Now, this is lovely and silly because beyond introducing ourselves, all we have ever talked about is dancing. He could be a complete dud. But, he is cute and sweet (and a pretty medium dancer) and I look forward to seeing him again. That seems like plenty for now.

Oh, and the real story of my life is how freaking insanely bad a manager my new boss is. It is practically ALL I CAN TALK ABOUT. However, in the interest of focusing on the positive, I will keep the kvetching offline. In every other respect this is by far the best time I've ever had at my job. All the mundane tasks I used to complain about are actually interesting to me and I'm doing fine, fine work.

One tidbit, though, because you deserve it. The other day, after yet another seriously annoying run-in with the incompetent supervisor, my old boss (the one who hired her and the one who is the best boss I've ever had), stopped by my desk to ask a question. I shared my annoyance with him and he said, "Oh, yeah, it's her. QED." I was speechless for a moment and then answered his question. I have the utmost respect for my old boss, but hiring her was one major league foul up that is completely his mistake. And he says, "QED"? At least he agrees that she is nothing if not annoying. But, QED my ass. Please do something to fix your mistake and restore my faith in you. I'd be ever so grateful.

I then went on to repeat this encounter to at least four different people who said, "QED? What does that mean?" Heh. I told them and, as it turns out, was only 60 percent correct in my definition (I thought: quod erat dictum. It's actually: quod erat demonstrandum). Do you know what it means? Is wikipedia correct? I think it is and my reaction was still completely correct.

As nuts as this current boss situation is, I find it oddly engaging and, but for a few exceptional moments, non-infuriating. I figure either she'll learn to leave me alone or she won't be here forever. Either way, it's going to work out. QED.

Grateful for: something to smile about.


  1. I had begun to worry about you. I'm glad you are dancing your way through life and not taking work too seriously. Hopefully the new bad manager will move on one day soon.

  2. I think wikipedia's right--I've used QED at the end of mathematical proofs. Your boss's use of it--assuming he understands its meaning correctly--implies that this was an expected outcome of appointing her as manager. I agree that makes it odd that he did so.

    Glad you're well otherwise.

  3. B--aww, thanks for your concern. All is well!

    JCD--I think he meant more, "Jamy is annoyed by this person. QED=OF COURSE SHE IS." But, the tone said it all--heavy sigh, head shaking, clear frustration with HER and not me. But still.

  4. I guess I see; "To Prove: If I appoint X as manager, Jamy will be annoyed. Proof: 1. Appoint X as Manager. 2. Jamy is annoyed. QED." Though that seems more like a hypothesis test, now that I've written it out.

    On your newest post: when I took dance classes some years ago, the men did the asking; since I was painfully shy (and perhaps still am), I had trouble asking any woman to dance, and as a result often ended up partnerless. So I encourage you to ask people!

  5. jcd: I kinda love your analysis. I wonder if the hypothesis was really that no matter who was appointed as manager, I would be annoyed. QED. Jamy is easily annoyed. :)

    I hope you dance again and remember that it is very rare that a woman will say "no" to a dance. I'm finding my proximity/body language ask to work for now, so that's what I'll be doing until I muster more courage.


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