I told the story of Jack to my co-worker. Her conclusion: I'm too nice. Her conclusion is incorrect.
At dance lessons later the same day, I snarked about an annoying classmate. One of my partners questioned why I was wearing heels and said I was "too flatfooted" in the dance. I told another woman about this and she said, "asshole."
At dance lessons on Tuesday, one of the partners told me, "Don't be afraid of coming towards me. You should be closer." I thought, 'if you want me closer, you have to lead me.' I later told one of my female classmates and she said, "He did the same thing to me. Asshole."
My co-worker thinks it "works" to be mean to guys. That they like it. I say, so what? I don't like treating people that way. I have to live with myself. And do I want to be some guy because he likes a challenge? No. I'm not so desperate to be with someone that I'm going to resort to game playing. Not that I'd be any good at it...but I'm smart, not a bad actress, so I'm sure I could learn. That, significant weight loss and hair dye would probably see me hooked up with some schmoe in not time at all. But, really, I can pull in my own assholes. I don't need to resort to tricks.
Ok, so work, dance lessons. A little b-day party on Wednesday. Relaxing night home knitting on Thursday. Gym four days (I skipped today to go to lunch with Nancy). Dancing tonight. Outing on Saturday. Brunch on Sunday.
Yeesh. I'm kind of busy, aren't I? Busy in a good, happy, doing fun things way, though. It works.
Grateful for: a plan.
At dance lessons later the same day, I snarked about an annoying classmate. One of my partners questioned why I was wearing heels and said I was "too flatfooted" in the dance. I told another woman about this and she said, "asshole."
At dance lessons on Tuesday, one of the partners told me, "Don't be afraid of coming towards me. You should be closer." I thought, 'if you want me closer, you have to lead me.' I later told one of my female classmates and she said, "He did the same thing to me. Asshole."
My co-worker thinks it "works" to be mean to guys. That they like it. I say, so what? I don't like treating people that way. I have to live with myself. And do I want to be some guy because he likes a challenge? No. I'm not so desperate to be with someone that I'm going to resort to game playing. Not that I'd be any good at it...but I'm smart, not a bad actress, so I'm sure I could learn. That, significant weight loss and hair dye would probably see me hooked up with some schmoe in not time at all. But, really, I can pull in my own assholes. I don't need to resort to tricks.
Ok, so work, dance lessons. A little b-day party on Wednesday. Relaxing night home knitting on Thursday. Gym four days (I skipped today to go to lunch with Nancy). Dancing tonight. Outing on Saturday. Brunch on Sunday.
Yeesh. I'm kind of busy, aren't I? Busy in a good, happy, doing fun things way, though. It works.
Grateful for: a plan.
There is a fine line between light flirting and using a 'neg' to draw interest.
ReplyDeleteIt sure sounds like a trick -- "I can pull in my own assholes." Though not really an appealing one. Hell, just having a plurality sounds like quite a trick, even without being able to pull them in...
ReplyDelete...sorry, I can't help being perverse and sophomoric.
Ok you crazy kids...you know my point was that I've dated plenty of assholes without even trying?
ReplyDeleteI just wonder if I played these games: wouldn't the odds of attracting an asshole increase A LOT?
You are absolutely right. Man men appear to like the challenge of mean girls, just like many women appear to like to be mistreated by men. I don't know why this is the case but it is. Maybe it's some sort of perverse form of self-flagellation since most of us don't engage in religious rituals anymore. I blogged about Martin who has a whole LIST of rules about how women want to be mistreated (online dating and the sperm whale)--it's crazy to think!
ReplyDeleteAt any rate, kudos to you for: 1. recognizing it and 2. refusing to change your personality. It won't, ultimately, make a difference (she says to herself over and over as a mantra).