Tuesday, February 02, 2010

First impressions

I was thinking about my recent bad dates--the quick summary: date one: I was annoying and he was boring; date two: he was annoying and I was boring. I have heard from both dates even though things did not go well.

Date two approached me on facebook (I foolishly became his fb friend) the day after our date. He wanted to know when we were going out again. I should have said "never." Instead I hedged, "I dunno." He wanted to know why. I said he was too big a drinker for me. (I have no interest in calling strangers alcoholic.) He replied that for him, that wasn't much drinking. He wanted more reasons and when I gave them, he ridiculed me, called me boring, said I wasn't fun and then asked when we were going out again. Yeesh. If he asks me again, I know what to say. I think an un-friending is in my future.

Date one sent me email on Monday saying he'd enjoyed meeting me, didn't feel a romantic spark but thought it would be fun to go to the movies. I still haven't written back because I don't know if I want to be friends--but, heck, maybe it's worth a try. One trip to the movies can't hurt.

All this made me think about the kind of impression I make--and how guys impress me.  If a fellow likes me, what is he thinking? When I like a guy, what am I thinking?

It crossed my mind to ask Kent what he thought when he first met me. I'm guessing, "Pretty, smart, talks a lot." Hopefully, he also added, "interesting." It's an awful lot of talking to listen to if you don't find me interesting.  And what did I think of him? Cute, smart, likes me. (And interesting!) My liking of him was very much part of his liking of me. I noticed him noticing me. But a guy liking me isn't enough--he has to be a guy I find attractive, and not just in looks.

Date two (above) was reasonably attractive but his horrible personality was apparent from the moment I saw him. Date one wasn't very attractive (to me) and maybe that was the problem. I don't know. I think I'll go to the movies with him and find out if he's interesting. I'll ask the questions this time.

Grateful for: potential interest.


  1. Yeah, go to the movies. Even guys who aren't good matches have friends and you never know when a friend of a friend will be just right. (I'm mostly commenting just to see if i can figure out how from your patient and helpful instructions!)

  2. Anon11: you got it! And, I sent an email to date1. We'll see if a movie ever comes of it.

  3. Chemistry is so important in any relationship -- romantic or otherwise. It's hard not to trust your first impression.


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