Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Facebook is funny

Mostly, I enjoy Facebook (FB), but I also find it puzzling. I wasn't a big fan when it let me know that I'd broken up with Kent. Finding out via FB was possibly the worst way to learn that he had a new girlfriend. But, when used properly, it can be a pretty interesting place.

A few months ago, I was "friended" by a fellow I knew in college. I was so sure I'd never have any contact with this guy again, that I wrote about him on the blog and didn't even bother with a pseudonym. In fact, I didn't think I'd want to be friends with him again--but, it turns out, it's kind of nice to interact with him on FB.

Of all the old junior high and college friends who I now see via FB, his story is the oddest. I'm not exactly sure what he does, but it seems to involve working on a wildlife preserve or zoo. (He is also married with kids, which isn't surprising.) This is a guy who I was sure would go to philosophy grad school and become a professor. Why were we studying for the GRE together (unsuccessfully)? Why was he always expounding philosophy to me? Not because he wanted to go work with animals.

Now, I am very curious as to how his life took this turn, but we haven't actually corresponded since we became FB friends. Still, I can tell that he hasn't changed much because we comment on each other's statuses from time to time. A few times, our commenting has lead to a rather lengthy exchange--and that's how I know he hasn't changed (nor have I). I bet if we were to sit down for coffee tomorrow, we wouldn't spend much time catching up, instead we'd get right back into the lofty exchange of ideas (well, ideas on his side, questions on mine), that we used to engage in. I also get the feeling that he still "likes" me, but I could be wrong. It's a little amusing and a little odd. Our minor interactions stirred up a lot of memories, even though that time is a bit hazy. I can remember sitting and talking with him at the HUB (the student union), I can remember the light coming through the windows and his smile. But I can't actually remember any specific conversation. Yet, when he leaves those comments on FB, it recalls those conversations and that table where he always sat. It does make me want to have a real conversation with him, to find out how he got where he is, but I haven't sent him an email and I don't plan to--for all the reasons that we didn't stay in touch. He betrayed me and I'm afraid I can't forget it and, while he may have changed, I still feel some disappointment in his behavior. If he wrote to me, I'd answer happily, but I see no reason to start the exchange.

But it sure is funny how something like FB can reconnect me to the past in such a visceral way. I do enjoy that.

Grateful for: old friends.


  1. Wow, I've been reading your blog for a long time. I remember the original post. I reread it b/c i'd forgotten some details, but I was reading then!

  2. You have been reading a long time! If you comment again, pick a name so I'll know who you are. :)

    And thanks for sticking around!


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