I don’t write to guys very often (lazy), but yesterday, I saw one who inspired me. We had a lot in common, he was nice looking and it seemed like a no-brainer. I wrote him a quick note and later that same night, I got this response:
Thank you for your message and compliments about my profile; yours is pretty interesting, too.
This probably sounds a little odd, but it's also a lot honest: I strongly dislike cats and don't date women who own cats. I've tried it a few times in the past, and it became an issue sooner or later. I usually avoid even meeting women with cats, because it seems best to avoid getting attached, etc.
You seem nice and sweet, so I didn't want to leave you hanging with no reply.
Good luck to you...
I read it quickly and thought he must be allergic to cats. Then I took a second look. I realized why it bothered me: he wasn't allergic, rather, the very presence of a cat was a deal breaker. I found this so odd that I wrote back:
Thanks for responding. I have to ask--why is it you dislike cats so intensely? Are you allergic? Did a cat do you wrong? Do you have male friends with cats? Or is it a more fatal woman+cat combo that is the kiss of death?
I mentioned this to a friend at work this morning and she was highly amused. She said, “You’re going to hear from him. He has to answer those questions.” I didn’t think I’d hear from him, but sure enough, she was right:
About cats...I've never liked them. I'm not allergic, and I've never had a traumatic incident with them. I grew up in a very pro-dog family, so dogs became 'normal' and 'right' for me. Even now, I find cats to be a little aloof and weird--and not always open to listening if you try to shoo them away, etc.
I think I have 1 or 2 male friends who like/own cats, but most are pet-less.
I love women with dogs, without dogs, and without cats...Just not with cats, because I don't like cats--one of the reasons I have 'Dislikes Cats' under Pets on my profile. In fact, the first two things I check about women on here are their Smoking and Pets "details".
Pets are just one of those things that influence our choices in the dating world, I guess.
Good luck to you...
Ok. REALLY? This is what he thinks? That the kinds of pets one has influences your decisions about who to date? I mean, a severe cat allergy and a person committed always to having cats, that’s a problem. Someone with a fear of a dogs because they were attacked as a child probably shouldn’t hook up with a dog breeder. But, c’mon. He didn't care if I liked dogs, if I were a big time cat lover, or if I was always going to have a cat, all of which would seem to mediate the fact that a cat lives with me.
It’s very clear to me that I don’t want to go out with this guy. He is NUTS. We may not know why I’m single, but it’s pretty clear why he is.
(As an aside, Curt (last bf) was moderately allergic to cats, but he liked my cat, never had a problem coming over and never complained—even when I could tell that he was suffering. Shoot, after we broke up he said he missed Tabitha (the cat) before he said he missed me! Anyway.)
I did write to the old cat-hater again, but this time I don’t expect a response. I just couldn’t resist.
Jim--Thus ends the tale of the man who hates cats enough to use them as a dating screening mechanism.
Ok, I'm sorry to beat this into the ground, but let me tell you about my history with pets. When I was growing up, we always had dogs. The dogs always ended up being mine--I did the walking, playing, etc. I didn't have pets after I moved away from home, for obvious reasons. I didn't get a dog because I'm not home enough and I live in the city, no yard, etc. I have a cat not out of love of cats but because this cat was going to the pound unless someone took her in, so I volunteered. Someday, I'd like to have a dog.
While I don't think I'd get another cat, I do love my cat and of course, she has standing.
Grateful for: not being completely insane.