Sunday, July 19, 2009


I'm full of stories but seem to have hit a writing block. I won't apologize--except to myself for not making a decision about where I want to go and what I want to do. I guess the problem is that I feel like I'm standing still. When I started this blog, it helped me move forward, it gave me a focus outside of work, a place to express myself and vent my frustrations. It was one of the best things I've ever done. Now, I'm still frustrated with work. I took myself off to Paris for seven months, I had a wonderful, romantic, lazy time. I loved it. It was easy to be back at first but it's gotten harder and harder. Nothing has changed at work. My friends...I still have plenty but they are less available than ever. My fantasy relationship broke up--not surprisingly--but it was hard to take.

I got happy when I started dating Curt, and things are still going well with him...but real life has a way of cropping up. Even though I'm happy to be in a new relationship, work is still making me angry and frustrated. And this relationship stuff is a lot harder to combine with work than the relaxed and formless life I had in Paris. (How I miss it!)

Argh. Maybe this is why I haven't written. I can't get into the relationship stuff as much as I would like to--as much as that's been the meat and potatoes of the blog. Actually, Curt said to me a few days ago, "Dating is the most important thing to you." I was shocked. He said, "You have a whole blog devoted to it!" Dude, don't let the name fool you--I hardly ever write about dating anymore! He said, "Well, it's not like you have a blog about movies..." To which said, "As a matter of fact, I do." Oh. Right.

Anyway. I have a lot of little slice of life stuff I could share--amusing encounters, etc. and that's what I'd like to do. I know I've said it before so this is really for my benefit. I will write more because writing always makes me happy. It doesn't have to be about dating and it won't be for a variety of reasons but that doesn't mean it won't be interesting or help improve my attitude just like it used to.  I'm going to keep trying, that's all I can do.

Grateful for: second chances.

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