Timing

The other day, I had a date with Curt. I made the mistake of introducing a relationship topic rather late in the evening. While I’m quite content with the outcome of the conversation, it does raise the question: why this timing?

It’s a bad habit and one that annoys me when others do it. I used to have this boyfriend in Chapel Hill—I always call him my North Carolina boyfriend—who would open up to me consistently at three in the morning. It drove me crazy. Right about when I’d be falling asleep—be it at midnight or two am—he’d start telling me stories of childhood woe. After a while, I realized that he was giving me important information and that I need to pay attention. Still, it made me a little nuts.

I basically did the same thing. He was annoyed because he needed time to think about what he wanted to say and wasn’t so well prepared to handle serious stuff when he might prefer to be relaxing.

Truth is, I couldn’t think of a good time to have the conversation. I preferred to do it while not making eye contact. So, dinner was out. Sitting around in public waiting for the movie to start was out. Driving home rather late in the evening was out since the topic was too distracting. Sitting in the car, outside someone’s house might have been the right time, but we didn’t do that either. Oh well.

I promise to try and do better. Still and all, I think we handled it well. I’m happy today and before our date, I wasn’t.

Other random date events:

• On the long, slow drive to our destination, I did some knitting. I said, “Do you mind?” He said, “It would take a lot more than that to offend me.”
• I did a poor job of giving directions but he followed my suggestions. It all came out right. We didn’t argue at all about the driving. Remarkable.
• He was going to let me drive his fancy car home but I was too tired. I wish I’d done it.

Grateful for: forward motion.