Monday, May 11, 2009


I am in such a good mood right now. I don't want to jinx it. I can't quite believe this.

Remember a couple of years ago, after I broke up with Owen? I was all, "it's for the best, I had a good time, moving on." I still thought that I was going to be in for a long wait before I met the next boyfriend. Then I met Kansas. Oy. It was a long wait because Kansas was useless as a boyfriend and not much good friend either. He was an excellent distraction and gave me a little bit of that feeling--of being wanted, of being found attractive--that I craved, but that was it. The rest of the time he just frustrated me with his late night phone calls and unplanned visits. Oy, oy.

So, now...I don't know what to think. It feels like I just broke up with Kent. It also feels resolved. After talking to him on Sunday and reading his email, I feel like it's really over but that it ended on a good note. He was trying to spare my feelings, but I think it was ok that my feelings got hurt because it finally got me out of my funk.

Then, bam, instantly, I meet someone new. Now, he's not exactly new. I've known him for a while, at least a couple of years, but we've only ever socialized in a group. He's a good guy. I like him and we get along great.

Also, it's not really instantly. I haven't seen Kent since the end of December. Our informal end was about two months ago. (I'm actually amazed at how long we sustained the romantic side of things under those ridiculous circumstances.) But now the romance is really and truly over and I'm actually ok with that.

I feel free and available, which is really nice.

Even nicer? I have a date on Thursday. He called.

Boyfriend threat level: between Guarded and Elevated. I think one planned date isn't quite Elevated, but as defined, it's more than Guarded. (Lord have mercy if the fellow in question ever reads this. I'm already worried about when/if to reveal the blog.)

Grateful for: the end of the funk.

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