Thursday, August 28, 2008

Bad, bad, bad

I thought I had this nice little network of friends going, but it's all busted up. Argh. I haven't talked to anyone in two days! I don't know what to do about it.

My American friends--Peter left without saying goodbye. I haven't heard from Dara since Saturday (she may be busy, so I'm not completely counting her out).

A.--well, I think A. is history. All that's left is to decide if I want confirmation or if I can let him drift out of my life with no goodbye. Sad.

Pauline--my old French teacher. After our timing mix up, I sent her an email apologizing again. She wrote back but I detected a distinct "still angry" tone in her response. I could not deal with this and I haven't called her again. Seriously--I apologized twice even though I didn't do anything wrong--and she was still angry. I'm sure it's not about me, but I don't feel like explaining or apologizing anymore.

On Tuesday, I went to a happy hour (meetup style). I did talk to a few people. One French guy tried to pick me up--he actually wanted to whisk me off to Monmartre right then! I gave him my number but I said, "I should talk to some other people." I ended up button holing this very sweet Canadian guy who I found tremendously easy to talk to (but not physically attractive). He actually lives a block or two from me and we went home together on the metro. He gave me his info and I sent him an email yesterday. No response yet. I so want to be friends with him...but, do you think you can scare guys off with friendship desperation?

I fear I may lose my mind. The problem is, when I do meet people, I come on WAY too strong and I scare them off. The rest of the time I sit around wondering why no one likes me. It is all distorted and perverse.

Real time update: Well, how do you like that, the French dude from the other night just texted me--something about a picnic and a bottle of wine. It's a little cryptic. I'll have to call (or text) to get some clarification. (Looks like I'm going on a picnic! Hope it doesn't rain.)

Ok, so not everyone hates me. But, I don't know, more random French guys? Well, beggars can't be choosers.

Grateful for: conversation.

UPDATE: Since I posted this, I heard from the Canadian guy. He wants to get together this weekend. AND I heard from A. He said he's been working crazy hours and hasn't even been seeing his friends. We didn't make plans, but he said he'd be in touch. Yeah, right. Still--he wouldn't bother getting in touch if he hated* me, so that's the good news!

*Hate in the sense that he had lost interest in seeing me again, not in the sense of actual hatred.

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