Verizon, you're killing me

Apparently, I'm much more comfortable with product pans than with glowing reviews. (Oh, you know what I can rave about? "ScribeFire" it's a Firefox add-on I'm composing in right now. Awesome! Among it' wonderful features: easy posting to several blogs without having to go to the blogger site and log in--handy for those of us with several secret identities. Who me? Not me.)

So, I have this long list of things I've done to prepare for my trip. Most are completed (in no particular order):

• Find reasonable no-fee banking situation
• Cancel/suspend Netflix
• Cancel electric service
• Cancel gas service
• Lower student loan payments
• Route mortgage payments through new bank account
• Hand over treasurer duties to condo-mates (sorta)
• Email European friends about plans
• Get rid of tons of clothing and miscellaneous other junk
• Cancel/suspend cell phone
• Cancel US health insurance
• Buy European health insurance
• Get French Visa
• Assemble enormous amount of paper work for French visa
• Price storage units (too high!)
• Transfer cat to KJ
• Transfer camping gear to Pele
• Convey far too much information to future renter
• Download and edit lease for renter
• Advertise the van as for sale
• Give away/sell various household items via internet
• Send dozens of emails arranging to see apartments in Paris
• Rent Paris apartment!
• Resolve many pending condo banking issues
• Ask for leave of absence
• Write memo justifying leave request
• Cancel DSL service

A few things are pending:

• Cancel work-gym membership
• Transfer bike to Pele
• Ask Dad for email address of European friend of family
• Organize/store remaining items at home
• Clean the house
• Reserve shuttle ride to airport on Monday
• Retrieve boxes from basement and pack up entertainment equipment

One of the pending items was to cancel my Verizon DSL service. I'd made the decision to cancel a while ago, but it seemed like today was the day to do it. The exchange was frustrating. First, the fellow on the phone strongly encouraged me to suspend the account (for only $9.99/month!). I don't use my Verizon email address, so there is no reason to pay to keep the account. Then he said they couldn't guarantee the deal I currently have (which isn't great) and that I'd have to pay all kinds of fees to restart the account. The fee? A $30 connection fee. Let's see: 9.99 x 6 = 59.94. Still pays for me to cancel. So I asked him to disconnect me as of 5/27 (the day after I leave). Annoying but done.

But no. I get an email a few minutes later about my "cancellation order effective 5-21-08." Uh oh--are they canceling me today? That would be...not a disaster...but a real pain in the ass. I call. They're canceling me on FRIDAY (5/23) not MONDAY (5/27), as I requested. And they can't do a damn thing about it. The order is in the system. The end. THE END.

I hate you Verizon. True, I'm too cheap to go with another service if you still have the lowest price, but I'm writing a letter to HQ telling them how much you suck and that they need to get some competent employees. Sigh.

Grateful for: the coffee shop around the corner with free wifi.