Thursday, October 11, 2007

Oh baby

SL continues to pursue and surprise me. I think I mentioned that SL insisted on seeing me play soccer. I told him, indirectly and directly, that I didn't want him to come and he finally got it.

He asked me out again today (that makes twice this week!). In response, I mentioned that Spesh was coming to stay with me and, therefore, I couldn't go out with SL this weekend. I'd also cited an early morning soccer game on Saturday as a reason not to go see his band play on Friday night. SL replied, "is [Spesh] going to the Soccer game to see u? I don't mind if he stays with you, if he sleeps with you, and if he marries u, BUT don't you dare to take him to that Soccer game! I am joking sweetie..."

Hilarious! However, I wouldn't mind in the least if Spesh came to the soccer game (go figure). But he won't be here in time nor do I imagine he has any interest in attending.

Also yesterday, I got a call from Tom (my important grad school boyfriend). It's remarkable because Tom doesn't call me, I call him. And I haven't called him in nearly a year. I didn't try to see him in Seattle or earlier at our mutual professional conference in NY. I've been weaning myself off of Tom, no indulging every urge to call him. A few times on my x-country drive, I had the urge, but I managed to stifle it. (Or he managed not to be in his office the one time I indulged it.) I was pleased to hear from him but also assumed that he had some big news to share or he wouldn't be calling. I told TR, "He's either had a kid, gotten divorced or someone died."

When I talked to Tom later on, the first thing I said was, "I can't believe you called me!" He acted surprised and said that he does call sometimes (no he doesn't). We chit-chatted for a few minutes and I said, again, "I still can't believe you called me."

He said, "You call me from time to time when you have news to share, when you have an update, when you want to talk to someone who cares about you..."

"Yes, I mean, I'm glad you called. But, what is it you have to share with me?"

"I had a son."

I said, "I knew it! I knew it!"

I congratulated him and we had a good talk about baby stuff. Tom never wanted to have kids and I asked him how he felt about it now and he said he was glad he waited as long as he did. We both know it's odd that he's the one with the kid when I'm the one who always wanted a kid, but whatever. What really struck me was that it was sweet and thoughtful for him to call and tell me. He didn't want me to hear about it from someone else and he was exactly right. I would have been hurt if he hadn't told me himself. I'm happy for him and know he'll be a good father--he's great with kids. I'm also happy that this news hasn't made me unhappy at all.

This is the payoff to keeping the blog. I can appreciate the good things about my life and know that I'm here because of choices I've made. I made the right choice ("choice") to break up with Tom (I did the breaking up, but he forced my hand). I'm sure I'm happier, in general, because of it. Plus, I'm not jealous. Not that I didn't feel a twinge. It is odd when your most significant ex-bf gets married (that was a bigger hit) and has kids, but who knew it wouldn't be upsetting? Not me.

Grateful for: my options, my choices, my life.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Anonymous comments will be rejected. You don't have to use your real name, just A name. No URL is required; enter your name and leave the 'url' line blank. Thank you.