Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Compare and contrast

Scenario #1
[On a Friday, after a week of casually chatting via email]

Boy: what are you doing tonight?

Girl: I'm not sure yet. No plan right now.

Boy: I have tentative plans but if they fall through do you have any interest in getting a few drinks?

Girl: Maybe…

Boy: Maybe? Why maybe and not yes?

Girl: Not sure I care to be your back up plan.

Boy: Ahh good for you, I like that. You are not my back up plan by choice my dear. I made these plans last week but the person in question keeps waffling so I think he may end up bailing. Is it so bad that if that is indeed the case, I want to meet up with you? In reality, I want to meet up with you regardless, but seeing as I have already made plans...

Girl: Just to drag this out a little longer, if you actually wanted to meet up with me, you could have tried to make plans with me more than a few hours in advance. I'm just sayin'.

Boy: okay, my bad then...

Girl: If we already knew each other, I'm not averse to last minute plans, occasionally.

Boy: ok.

Scenario #2
[Last Monday, at the end of their second friendly internet contact.]

Boy: We should make plans then!

Girl: You better catch me now, I'm leaving town soon.

Boy: I know! Let's get coffee or a drink this week. I'm free on Thursday or Friday.

Girl: Maybe. Let me check.... Yes, Thursday or Friday would work.

Boy: Ok, let's do Thursday then. Where would you like to meet?

Girl: [Suggests a place to meet.]

  1. Which scenario actually leads to making plans to meet?
  2. In scenario #1, do you think that the boy didn't actually intend to "meet up with" the girl? Why or why not?
  3. In scenario #1, why is the boy's approach to making plans particularly offensive?
  4. In scenario #2, why is the boy's approach to making plans particularly effective?
  5. In general, does the girl's attitude seem appropriate to each scenario? Keep in mind that she has met neither boy in person nor talked to him on the phone.
  6. How strong a role should "gut" feelings play in such scenarios?
Grateful for: answers.

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