Thursday, August 09, 2007


I've been thinking about how I'd like to change the name of the blog. Not the "grateful" part, just the "dating" part. No, not because I've stopped dating (it may appear that way, how can this be anything other than a temporary hiatus?), but because I'd like to stop defining myself as a "dater." I've heard myself called the "grateful dater." That grates. I'm grateful, in general, not about dating in particular.

What I am grateful for, or what the blog has helped me see clearly, almost every day, is what a good life I have, despite the absence of a partner. Yes, I'd like a partner, a few more friends, and a year in Paris. But other than that, I have it good. I appreciate the freedom of being single. I actually know what I like to do, who I like to do it with, and have the means to do it. I wonder how many people know what it takes to make them happy? I may not know what it takes to make a long-lasting happy relationship, but I do know what activities I enjoy. I also know my limits, can have a good time on my own, and am generally comfortable in my own skin.

Technically, it wouldn't be very hard to change the name--all I have to do is buy a new domain and point the blogspot address to it (as it now points to ""). I could avoid completely moving the blog. What would be hard is coming up with a new name that I like as much, even though I don't like the current name as much as I used to.

Now, the name seems silly, insubstantial, and narrowly focused. When I tell strangers the name of the blog, I'm a little embarrassed (but that might be true no matter what the name were). In a sense, I've outgrown the name. However, I still think it's amusing and a little clever and it just came to me, and names, titles, etc., don't come to me easily.

Maybe there's a way to think about "dating" as a metaphor for something larger than "dinner and the movies." Maybe dating means going out in the world with intention, making plans and seeing things through. Dates are also "appointments," right? And I am a planner, heart and soul. (My little fantasy year in Paris? It's become complicated by thoughts like this: sell or rent the condo? Store or sell everything? But what about that salvaged teak furniture I love, which is impossible to replace? And the cat...can I take her with me? Nothing is simple.)

If dating doesn't only mean romance, then I can live with it. I've outgrown some but...I hope I don't ever get all the way grown that I can't live with a little silly.

Still, it's a conundrum and I don't have a solution. I welcome your suggestions. I would appreciate you thoughts on these questions:
1) change the name or keep the name?
2) if change, what's a good new name?
3) should the new name incorporate the word "grateful"?

At least one person would be grateful to know.

Grateful for: ideas.

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