I don't think I've mentioned kickball for a while. As you may recall, I hate kickball. Yet, I've joined a team for the late summer. I'll miss the first two games due to the Israel trip but oh well.
The main reason I'm on a kickball team is that I mentioned kickball to work friend, Nina, in passing and she got very excited. I told her if she wanted to do it, I'd do it with her.
The other reason is that Nina mentioned kickball to Sailor and he was also interested.
I also mentioned it to my new officemate, Pete, who was on a kickball team. He invited us to join the new team his housemate is organizing.
We all signed up. So far, so good.
Pete's housemate sent an email suggesting a pre-season happy hour for last night. I wasn't sure if I'd make it, since I'm trying to get things done around the house. Nina emailed yesterday and told me she was going. In fact, Sailor had emailed her about going. He asked her, she asked me, and we all went.
More farcical is that when we got to the happy hour location, it wasn't there. Closed, apparently. I called Pete, who was meeting us later, and let him know. We met Pete as we were walking to another bar and the four of us went for a drink and some dinner.
Again, so far, so good. I'm a little leery of Sailor by now because he didn't follow up on the baseball game (he's going, but I had to confirm). He may be fine with being friends, but that's it. I'm slightly mystified because we get along extremely well.
We found ourselves at a very crowded downtown place. It was tough to talk in more than pairs, so while we stood at the bar waiting for drinks, I talked to Sailor and Nina talked to Pete. Later, when we sat down to eat, I talked to Pete and Nina talked to Sailor.
And, during the time I was talking to Pete, I overheard a snippet of conversation between Nina and Sailor. Nina said, "Oh, so how often do you go?"
"Probably we see each other every two weeks or so."
"What does she do?"
"She's in [inaudible] practice up there…"
I couldn't join their conversation and I had to go back to paying attention to Pete but I finally figured out what the problem with Sailor is: he has a girlfriend in NY. Story of my life! No, really, it is. Tom, my grad school boyfriend, had a girlfriend in NY. A guy I made out with in Ann Arbor had a girlfriend in NY. Well, that's all I can think of, but still! It's a horrible, horrible pattern.
Ok, maybe not a horrible pattern, but certainly a good explanation. And while he's still lame for not getting back to me about the baseball game and not managing to let me know he had a girlfriend (super lame!), this knowledge leaves me feeling relieved. I've decided he didn't tell me because he wants to be friends but things got terribly awkward and he didn't want to lead me on because he sort of likes me too…or something like that.
It crossed my mind to subtly give him a hard time about it—but I won't. Not just because I can't figure out something clever, but because I don't want to be mean.
It's frustrating that he's not available, though, because we are entirely on the same wavelength and that's rare. Also, he's incredibly smart. Way smarter than average. He is quick and sharp and doesn't miss anything. His interactions with Pete made this very clear. Pete is plenty smart but extremely earnest. Subtle humor is lost on him.
For example, Nina asked Pete, "So why did you want to work for [our federal agency]?"
"I just loved the mission statement!"
Sailor said, "Really? What did you like about it? I wrote it."
Pete gives Sailor a blank look but keeps smiling. "I can't remember, but I loved it!"
I said to Sailor, "Oh, c'mon, you haven't been working at [our agency] that long either!"
He said, "Oh, I wrote it before I started working there."
All I'm saying is that we would make a great comedy team.
When Pete stepped away, I said to Sailor, "You can't do that deadpan humor with Pete, he doesn't get it."
"I noticed! Did you see the look on his face when I made that joke about the mission statement? I'm trying to hold back."
He even has self-awareness! Awesome. Too bad he's lame and coupled.
And, as usual, we're moving on…
Grateful for: knowledge.