I meant to get lots of work done at work this week but I woke up on Monday morning with a raging head cold. That put the kibosh on going to the office. I'd actually brought some work home with me over the weekend...and I did a little bit of work during my sick days. Work is so disheartening. I keep having to do repair jobs--rewriting the miserable reports my contractors deliver. I'm making progress. (Note: the majority of this post was composed last night, at home.)
I had some evening plans on Monday and Tuesday, but they were canceled due to my illness and the cold and snowy weather.
And, well, there's something I need to talk to you about and it's kind of awkward.
Here's the thing. I've grown weary of baring the details of romantic life on the blog. It's a dilemma I've faced ever since a wide group of previous friends, acquaintances and blog friends and acquaintances started reading. The well meaning negative comments are a problem and the not-so-well-meaning comments are also a problem. But actually having lots of people read is also a problem. Let me give you an example.
When I was dating Tim, the separated-but-not-divorced guy, I was invited to a party. The party was hosted by some friends of a friend who I met through the blog. The party hosts read the blog--at least occasionally. If I brought my then boyfriend to the party, people who I didn't know well would have known rather a lot about him. Rather more than he might have preferred them to know. (Luckily we broke up before the party--whew! Disaster averted.)
Does everyone need to know all the gory details about your new boyfriend before they even meet him? Sure, I'm going to tell Pele, DrJ, JenA, Karen, Audrey, Amanda, Mom and whoever the hell else all the details eventually...but maybe not all at once...and some maybe never.
Also, you never know how a fellow will react to finding out he has a starring role on the internet. Tim, for example, was not pleased. Owen couldn't have cared less. Kansas (who is not now and may never be my boyfriend) is someone I think would not like being featured on the blog. I mentioned that to Pele and she said, "Well, not without his permission."
There are two issues: 1) keeping my private life a little more private and 2) respecting someone else's privacy. Oh, and 3) not making myself crazy by opening up my personal life to comment. These are confounded with my desire to keep the blog alive.
If I knew now that Kansas wouldn't care about the blog, I could write about him and limit the details (which is what I did with Owen). But I usually wait a while to tell a new guy about the blog. I don't want to ask permission now. I want to wait. I don't want to write about him. Oh, but, actually, I DO want to write about him. I just don't want to jeopardize a potential relationship on account of the blog.
I know I could start a new secret blog somewhere, but, oy, I love this place so much. I don't want to start over.
Stayed tuned...tomorrow I'll introduce a partial resolution to the dilemma. And if you stay tuned after that, I might write a real post again...someday.
Grateful for: this space and patient readers.
Drop me a line.