Tonight, I was going to go swing dancing, but I still can't face it. The long drive, the scary guys, the strangers, the pressure. I considered checking out a band closer to home...but that means sitting around, waiting for the band to start, not necessarily liking the music, and nothing to do to occupy myself between times. Why not just stay home, watch A Star is Born on PBS, SNL later, and get a solid night's sleep? It's probably not even a stretch to blame two Saturday nights at home on the break up.
I planned to go out last Saturday too. But, just like last week, I'm not going anywhere. I should probably cut myself some slack. I was social two nights this week. This morning, I went to hot yoga and this afternoon I went grocery shopping. Not exactly a thrill a minute, but not bad either.
I am doing something that doesn't really count as getting out there--I became active again on the free (dating) site. My attitude and approach is much different than during the last go-round. I'm not terribly interested in dates. I mean, if I met someone wonderful, I wouldn't say no, but deliberately seeking out romance is not appealing. What IS appealing is flirting. And telling my sad stories to strangers. I may have talked more about my break up to imaginary internet friends than to real life friends.
I've had a couple of interesting conversations, including one that kept me home and entertained last Saturday night. I've "met" one young guy who wants to be friends (he has a girlfriend). While I doubt we'll ever meet in real life, I enjoy chatting with him.
Yesterday, I was approached online by a man about ten years older than me. His pics were fine, but what caught my eye is that he mentioned the Eden Center in his profile. I've written about it before, but I absolutely love the Eden Center. I sent him a quick email expressing that sentiment. He IM'd me in return and we started to chat. Then, after a few minutes, he said, "Oh, I see you are Jewish. And that you went to Israel." (I have a picture posted that was taken when I was in Israel last March, labeled as such.) And then, abruptly, the chat was over. The site can be a little funky, so I re-opened the chat window and sent him a message. No answer. Today, I emailed him to find out what happened. No response.
I think he stopped talking to me because I'm Jewish. This is a quote from his profile, "My grandfather told me that the most important things in life all revolve around relationships. Your relationships with God, your family & friends; I try to follow those values." I wonder, does following those values include refusing to chat with me because I'm Jewish? There were so many different ways he could have handled it...for example, by just saying, "I'm sorry, this won't work for me." That wouldn't have bothered me in the least. Not to mention that he obviously initially contacted me without reading one word of my profile. What a dolt!
Bonus: his user name incorporates the word "gentleman." What would grandpa have to say about that?
Grateful for: indifference.
Drop me a line.