Tuesday, August 22, 2006

What I want

What am I doing? Avoiding the subject. Why? Because it's awkward for me to talk about.

I had lunch today with work-friend Nancy for the first time in ages and she needed a pair of pliers to extract the David story from me.

It's just, I'm a little at sea here. I'm pretty sure I know what I want, but I'm not sure what the rules are. I haven't done this before.

Today, I thought, "Maybe I don't want to do this. Maybe I should just stop now." And maybe if I never call him and he never calls me, that will be it. And it's what Nancy told me, "You never listen to me, but you have to wait for him to call to know how he feels."

I said, "I don't care how he feels."

She laughed, "You're having that fling everyone dreams about!"

"I am? But I haven't seen him since Thursday. I need a little more fling and a little less waiting."

Because if this is going to turn into another "I hope he calls. Why isn't he calling? Is it ok for me to call?" situation, I don't see the point. The beauty part is that he is NOT a boyfriend candidate, so I don't need to be on my best behavior. However, since I'm interested in continuing things a little longer, I don't want to scare him off. He's just too much fun.

As I told Nancy, "You know, it turns out it's not about the physical part. Funny how it never is. If I didn't like him as much as I do, there's no way I'd be interested in more."

Contact update: I called him Sunday afternoon and the conversation lasted about a 1 minute 39 seconds (a whole minute longer than the Friday call!). No plans were made but he said, "We'll get together this week sometime." It left me scratching my head, but Diego told me that calling on a Sunday afternoon was a chump move (not his exact words). He said, "You only call him when you want to see him. You don't call him just to say hi." Oh, Ok. What was I thinking? "It's fine, but you have to wait until late this week to call him again if you don't hear from him first."

Fine then. I'm waiting. But I don't like it one bit.

Grateful for: patience (I could use some).

Drop me a line.

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