On Friday, I noticed a fellow on JDate©--he viewed my profile. Even though he was too young for me (25) I sent him an email, to his personal account, because he'd managed to sneak it into his profile. I figured I had nothing to lose. From his screen name and pictures I could tell he was a rower. I rowed for a couple of years in grad school and that, plus the cute picture, made him attractive. Our email exchange (to date) follows:
Jamy: Oh, how I love gaming the jdate system. (You can find me there: xxxxxxx) [Bunch of rowing questions redacted. He never answered any of them. What's up with that?]
Rower: Old movies, eh? How about the Three Stooges? [I mention a love of old movies in my profile.]
Jamy: Three Stooges, eh. Not my favorite. Give me the Marx Brothers any day. Slapstick is good, but not so much the brute force.
Rower: Not a fan of the pie in the face?
Jamy: Pie in face=good. Finger in eye=bad.
Rower: Let's test your pie in the face theory.
Jamy: Are you headed this way with a pie? My favorite is apple, but perhaps lemon meringue or boston cream would be better for in-the-face purposes.
Rower: Of course -- you'd be the recipient. If you wanted to truly make it accurate, you'd need to be dressed up for some formal occasion, as that's when the pie fights usually break out in the 3 Stooges, if I am not mistaken.
Jamy: Luckily, I keep my pearls and floor length gown here in the office in case of emergency. Would you remain amazingly pie free despite the free-for-all surrounding you?
Rower: I don't know -- what's your read on that?
Jamy: Well, the pie-free individual is necessary--it's someone who doesn't seem to notice that a pie fight is going on. Or it can be a smirker who is very pleased about remaining clean--he gets hit in the last frame. It can't be you if you intend to throw the first pie (if you throw it by accident (see Charlie Chaplin) that's different). You get it at about pie 6 or 7. But if I'm sneaky, pie #2 has your name on it.
[Many hours later.]
Rower: So when do we find out whether it has my name on it?
[Saturday, when the last message was received.]
Jamy: I'm in Philadelphia until Tuesday so we won't find out until next week :)
That's all I want, a 25 year old, 6'4", 220 lb rower who wants to throw a pie in my face. Is it too much to ask?
Grateful for: whelps.