Friday, August 05, 2005

Need more time

I have many things to write about, but I have all this work and it cuts into my blog time. The weekend is so exhaustively busy that I don't know when I'll have time to write.

There are many non-Jay topics. Is anyone else bored with Jay? Lord knows I am. Not bored with him but of writing about him and appearing to be obsessed. I prefer to veil my obsessions.

Things I'm thinking about:
  1. The conversation with my Israeli friend, Lev, which is worth recounting in more detail.
  2. Funny email from Pele that is totally blog-worthy (see below).
  3. "Blog crushes." I'm nursing a few and I wonder if others do this too.
  4. How do you keep track of blog pseudonyms? I have to make a list.
  5. Passive internet dating update (not much to say, mostly it's annoying).
  6. The email I sent to Jay.
  7. The many interpretations of Jay's actions, which seem to say more about the interpreters than about Jay.

I will address Number 2:

2. Pele's funny email. What you need to know: Pele is involved with someone long-distance. It is complicated.

She writes:

I got a text from him: "Just got in. I have 9 blank messages from you. I don't understand?"

Did I text him in my sleep? No! Apparently my phone has decided that when it switches from analogue to digital it wants to text the last number I dialed. This is worse than drunk dialing!

When I spoke with the Verizon woman today, I told her my phone had sent nine blank text messages to a guy I was dating. She told me she, "understood how that might be a problem."

I'm not crazy. My phone is.

An interesting part of our email exchange:

Pele wrote:
Reading your blog makes me realize something. I think we (I?) become jaded about dating and guys as we get older. We develop rules. Not first date rules, or kissing rules, or internet dating rules, but if he acts this way, it must mean that, type of rules. All in the name of protecting ourselves. "If I ever see this behavior again, I will know it means ______. And then I will run away. Because I would hate to get hurt. Again."

In college...we had no rules. We gave people the benefit of the doubt. As a result we ended up in relationships that would NEVER have worked out in our 30s because of our "life-experience rules." But we don't regret those relationships.

How do you keep yourself from repeating past mistakes yet take each new man at face value, on his own terms?
I responded:
[Jay-related content redacted]

I don't think you "keep yourself from making past mistakes." I think you hone your instincts and are more likely to stay out of bad situations. I think you trust yourself to make mistakes but know that all mistakes are survivable. I think you DON'T convince yourself that relationships are too risky. You get out there and keep fucking up until you find a good one. And, to distract yourself, stay very busy with as many fun and interesting activities and friends as possible.
Grateful for: blog-worthy friends.

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