Sunday, July 03, 2005

How to kiss

The importance of kissing cannot be overstated. I'll give a guy a second, third or fourth chance if he's a good kisser. I don't have rules about kissing on the first date, but I think it's better to wait. A kiss on the cheek is a good way to end the first date. If things go well, I'm ready for something more intense by the second or third date. Regardless of the timing, these are my tips for a great kiss:
  • Don't use your tongue at first. This creates a wonderful sense of anticipation. Wait as long as possible. Start with small pecks. On the lips, on the neck, all over the face. Get back to the lips. If you really like the person, this is bound to happen anyway. Kisses on closed eyes are especially nice and show affection. Also, a gentle bite on the hollow on the back of the neck will send a very pleasant shiver down the spine. Biting is definitely an acquired taste so go slow here.
  • Have steady lip-to-lip contact. All tongue, all the time is not so much fun. And much too messy. You force her to wipe her mouth and there is no non-insulting way to do this. Try not slobbering all over her in the first place.
  • Moisture should be kept to a minimum, but too dry is bad. Just keep a glass of water handy.
  • Change sides.
  • The tongue should be decisive, not soft and mushy. There should be some direction. It should neither do battle with the other tongue nor act like a drill hammer. The other tongue is your friend. Play nice.
  • Please don't attempt to shove that tongue down my throat. Be kind. There is a time for a forceful, strong tongue--and it's not when you're still at the making-out-on-the-sofa stage. Save it.
  • Be playful--have some fun, that's what this is all about. It's ok to joke around, laugh and be silly.

I picked up most of these tips from one or two guys. One was my Italian step-cousin who was a very playful kisser. We laughed much of the time we were together. The other was an English boy I met in Greece who I spent the night kissing. He taught me to start slow. I also got a lot of experience through a very no-nonsense kissing game we perfected in junior high called "Frontline." Maybe I'll write more about that later. Our parents would not have been pleased.

Grateful for: kissing.

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