Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Not according to plan

My day starts, courtesy of my officemate, with this overheard phone snippet: "This is why I shouldn't be away from the house and I should take you myself. Because you do stupid things." Ah, the day can only get better.

For some reason I am totally not in the mood to write about last night. Last night, for those of you who do not read the blog everyday, was my second meeting with Jay, a boy on whom I have an enormous crush. I had not been in touch with him, but rather with CC, his sister-in-law.

CC emailed yesterday to confirm and told me that she was bringing a friend and Jay was bringing a friend (CC's husband, Jay's brother, was not coming). I immediately activated my reserve friend, Princess (note: we really need to get Princess a better blog name. I can't stand Princess. What about Pele? I need a better idea.). Who was this friend of Jay's? Was it a girlfriend? I rushed to the gym--where I haven't been in months--and sweated up a storm. I came back to my desk and kept running over it in my head--that hug, that "I didn't think I'd meet someone there" comment, wouldn't have happened if he'd had a girlfriend. But what if I was wrong? I was wrong about Softball Guy. And then I decided to stop thinking about it. Just stop. There was nothing to do and there was no reason to be nervous. I sort of stopped.

I got to the bar early and the next person who arrived was "Chris" (a woman) and a friend of CC's--Chris found me because I was wandering around looking lost. Then Jay arrived with his friend--a man (sigh of relief). Chris tried to introduce me to Jay and we were like, "Um, yeah, we've met." Both of us staring at the ground and being shy. He looked good, clean shaven and freshly washed, with a nice shirt and the same jeans and Teva's. Eventually CC and another couple of friends arrived, but I couldn't get next to Jay. I sat on a stool near the bar and the six of us made a little circle, with Jay far away from me. When Princess arrived, I said, "Do you want to sit down?" and I hopped of the stool. She declined the seat and so did another woman in the group. But then Princess got it and she sat down. I moved across from Jay in the circle, but I still couldn't engage him.

I talked a little to CC, but more to Chris, who was visiting from California. There were seven of us total, after Princess arrived, and in the somewhat loud and crowded bar it was hard to talk to everyone. Jay's friends (two guys) were nice and funny and so were CC's. A good group all around. And it was very good that Princess came. I also think she enjoyed herself.

We perched around the bar for a while but moved when a table opened up. That was pretty funny. I wanted to sit near Jay--at least near enough to talk to him. The rectangular table was in a corner, with a banquet on two sides and stools on the other two. I got a seat on the short edge of the table on the banquet. Jay's friend sat at the stool at the other end of the table, directly across from me. There was a spot next to him and spot next to me. Princess and Jay approached the table at the same moment. In moment of quick-thinking, Princess took the stool next to the friend, which forced Jay to sit next to me. Way to take one for the team, Princess! (The friend was cool and the move may not have been obvious to anyone except me, but I was pretty happy she did it. It did make it next to impossible for Princess and me to talk, though.)

There I was, all set up. The trivia game started. I get a little competitive so I paid attention to the questions, which were read over a PA system, and tried to give the right answers. I tried to talk to Jay, too, but he was not helping. He mostly sat there and looked bored. He also seemed to miss his somewhat far away friend. Like, maybe he was there to hang out with his friend and not to see me? But, it was stated that he didn't like trivia much (and it was pretty obvious he was not enjoying things--he's not one to put himself forward and risk being wrong), so I have to think my presence had something to do with him being there. But it was almost a total bust in terms of Jamy-Jay interaction. Very frustrating.

Everyone ordered food except for me. I had little appetite. Maybe it was nerves. That or the half a bag of trail mix I ate after the gym.

We never got to the comfort level of the first night. I still found him attractive and I wanted to get to know him better. But he wasn't comfortable in a big group or in front of his friends. This was not the right setting for him. I couldn't get him alone, which was needed. I didn't love the setting, but I could have made it work. But not if he wouldn't play. He grumbled about wanted to leave early, but I told him he should stay to the end. His friend didn't want to leave either.

When the game was over (we tied for fourth with a couple other teams, a respectable finish), we stood on the sidewalk chatting for a couple of minutes. But not Jay. As soon as his friend walked out they said goodbye and left. Bam. The rest of us spent maybe two minutes reviewing the evening, expressing our desire to play trivia again and said goodnight.

Princess and I walked to the corner and spent a lot longer discussing the evening. I shook my head, "What was that? I got nothing! I can't work with that." She said, "Useless! Just useless." She recounted her (not so smooth) seating maneuver.

"That was good." I said.

"I saw my opportunity." Princess said. "He hesitated for a second and I got in there. At worst, it looked like I liked his friend."

"The friend was nice. Really, it just looked like you wanted to talk to new people, and that's good. I just don't know what to do now. I was ready to give him my number, but he didn't even give me a chance. This is nuts."

"He was totally looking at you when we were at the bar. Every time you looked away, he was looking at you. I wondered if I was imagining it, but I saw him do it four times, so I know he was looking."

"So I'm not crazy. I was right."

"You were right. The problem was his friend. He couldn't pull it off in front of the other guys. His friend wouldn't even have cared, but he couldn't do it."

"What am I supposed to do? Should I say something to CC? Just call her, maybe, and ask what's up?"

"Why not. There's something going on and maybe she can tell you what it is or if it's a no-go."

"You think it's a no-go?" (Jamy sad.)

"Not necessarily, but it would be good to know."

"Yes, I guess you're right. I'll call CC."

I was sure I would call CC but then I talked to my mom and I wonder if I should just let it be. This is crazy. So frustrating. And probably just a huge waste of time. I'm pretty sure I'll see CC again for the trivia thing, which I enjoyed, but I have to doubt that Jay will come. He hated it! I have no way to contact him, except through CC. I'm not sure that tipping my hand to her is a good idea. She'd be cool about it, but wouldn't it be terribly awkward? I wanted to say, "Hey, I enjoyed trivia and I want to do it again, but I think you know I had an ulterior motive. What's the deal with Jay?"

Or, you know, I could go with the other plan: think about it as little as possible.

Grateful for: trivia.

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