Sunday, April 03, 2005

Dopey, clueless, pretentious

There are some crazy son-of-a-guns out there. I guess I already knew that. The question is, why do I engage with them? I guess it's my fabled "openness." Well, that's the thing about virtues: our best qualities are also often our worst qualities. It's that whole ying-yang thing. I frustrate myself because I have to deal with all these "losers" but it's my own fault, because I open the door for these guys. It is good to give people a chance, though, isn't it? But, it's important to know where to draw the line.

I added a fellow, on very short acquaintance, to my IM list. We haven't really chatted, due to never being online at the same time. There was one short chat in which he seemed a little dopey, clueless or pretentious. Or some combination of the three. His opener was something like, "I hope we can catch up." I asked him to remind me who he was (though I sort of knew). I wrote that he threw me with the "catch up" line since we'd never met or talked. He made some kind of explanation and then I said I had to run, which I think was true.

I was on and off line the other day. The IM program quit and I didn't log back into it for about half an hour. When I did, I was greeted by this message:

DopeyCluelessPretentious: Lame and cold.

Jamy: What was lame?

DCP: Oh hi, you are there.

He said he thought I'd "gone invisible" because he'd sent me a message. Now, I never saw a friendly message from him. I said he shouldn't make assumptions. He said not to tell him what to assume because it was based on my actions. I told him that the program quit unexpectedly and I never saw his original message. He said it didn't matter.

Of course, that's when he should have apologized and when I should have ended the chat. Instead he asked if I was happy since I'd proved that I was right. We continued on in this contentious manner for a while. I thought it was pretty fucking hysterical. He even said, "Why would I want to antagonize someone who I want to get to know better?" I said, "My point exactly!" He said, "Aren't you doing the same thing?" I said I didn't think so and I pointed out that he never apologized for his initial unkind words. At that point, as expected, he let me have it, but I only skimmed. It was something about me being the kind that needed to squeeze an apology out of everyone and was how that I made myself happy. I added to him to the "block" list at that point, so I won't be engaging with him anymore.

Any reasonable person, upon seeing the "lame and cold" message, would have blocked him right then. But not me. I wanted to see where he would go with it. I wanted to give him a chance. Really? I mean, I've been accused of having too high standards, of being unforgiving, being too picky, being too tough. But, that doesn't really seem to be what's going on here. What the hell is going on? If you figure it out, please let me know.

Grateful for: Well, sleeping in this morning was pleasant. And did I mention that the Tar Heels stomped all over Michigan State in the second half last night? We're going to the Finals baby!

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