Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Sad news

I’ve been working on cute date story from my much younger days. I don’t have time to finish it today and I wouldn’t have the heart to post it. Yesterday I found out that Walter died. It was not unexpected, but I was unexpectedly sad. I was still angry at him when he died. Walter was in his 80s and had been very sick with emphysema. In the last couple of years, his condition worsened. He spent time in the hospital with a collapsed lung and he couldn’t take more than a few steps without having to stop and catch his breath. Walter is one of my father’s and mother’s oldest friends. I’ve known him my whole life.

I made a point to see him in December because he sent an email to me and many others that made it clear he was dying. I was going to NJ to visit my brother and my dad (who was in town from the west coast). I thought I would see Walter with Dad, but Dad made plans to see him for a time I wasn’t going to be there. I ended up being alone with Walter, perhaps for the only time in my life. At first, it was fine. We talked about work and I helped him set up his new VCR/DVD player. He was very impressed that I got it to work. We watched a bit of a video of him on a local cable talk show. He was talking about his recently published book, How East New York Became a Ghetto. Then he took a nap. I hung around and we talked some more after he woke up. That's when things stopped being ok.

He harassed me about being single. He asked, why didn’t I have a boyfriend? What was wrong with me? All in a gentle, accusing tone. It was rather upsetting. Didn’t I want that, didn’t I miss that? In fact, it was that conversation that propelled me into JDate©. It may have even led to the creation of this blog. I should be grateful for that. There was a little more to it than that, but I’ve spoken enough ill of Walter. Despite his bad behavior, I’ll still miss him. I’m glad to have known him. I forgive you Walter. I know it’s selfish, but that’s all I can do. And I will go to the funeral on Friday


  1. hey, sorry to hear about walter. and i don't know the whole story, but i have been in a situation where a somewhat elderly person has berated me for being single. i was really upset too until my sister pulled me aside and said the reason that person was so invasive and even rude was because they had spent the majority of their life alone and they cared about me so much they didn't want to see me end up the way they were. it took a long time for me to understand this, but i am sure that whatever walter said to you came from a good place.

  2. ss, I've never thought of it from that perspective. I'll try and remember that if I'm ever in the same situation.

    Jamy, I'm sorry to hear about Walter. If he was part of the reason you started out this blog, then a lot of good HAS come out of it, because now we get to know you. Plus, you've got cool blog people as friends!


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