Thursday, March 03, 2005

Preview edition

On Friday, after work, I’m meeting a Jdate© guy for a coffee date. Originally, we were supposed to take a walk in a pretty little park in Maryland, but the more I thought about it (and after discussing with HP) I decided I wasn't comfortable with that. When I changed the plans with him, he was not disturbed and I assured him we could take the walk another time, just not this time. I don’t know him very well yet. We had a brief IM session and a short phone conversation. He had a list of four requirements, which is not something I think is very cool. His list was kind of funny, so it didn’t bother me too much. Two of the items were: must like WB dramas and must not use internet acronyms (e.g. ROTFL, LMAO, etc.). We don’t like all the same WB dramas (he likes One Tree Hill and Smallville, I like Everwood and Gilmore Girls, we agree on Jack and Bobby), but I think we bonded over our willingness to admit an affinity for these shows. Apparently, under the right circumstances, I’ll admit to liking all kinds of bad t.v. He told me that he thought my profile was “refreshing.” That’s right, dear reader, with me, flattery will get you everywhere. Like many of the Jdate© guys he’s ready to meet after very few preliminaries. I have no problem with that. I think it’s fine to get to know someone via email, but it still doesn’t mean you will hit it off in person. If I have a good feeling about someone, I’d just as soon test it out sooner rather than later. Why spend days or weeks ferreting out information over email and on the phone that you would know five minutes after meeting someone in person? Otherwise I build up a lot of expectations and it’s more of an emotional drain than need be. I used to worry about the let down after a disappointing first meeting after a lot of email/IM build up, but it’s never really that bad. The worst cases are when you end up on a boring date. But when I know it’s wrong, I know, so it’s not that hard to move on. I don’t ever beat myself up for not finding someone attractive. That is just something I cannot control. On Sunday, I have a tentative coffee date with a previously mentioned "probably unsuitable" man. He is very nice, and bright, but is "modern orthodox." Oh, MO, you are a very sweet man, but the life you want, I just can't see for myself. He goes to shul (aka synagogue or temple) every day. Twice a day. Kosher at home and abroad. Oh my. It's too constraining. And he's a Republican. He voted for Bush. Twice! At least he said he sometimes regrets voting for him the second time. Our conversation was good and I think it might not be such a terrible thing to meet him. It might be fun and it would probably be interesting. Coffee, as friends, what's the worst that could happen? I want to go on these dates. I want to get out there. I think it will be fun to meet WB. I think it will be interesting to meet MO. Is this possible? I'm actually looking forward to dating?? This isn't supposed to be fun! Grateful for: the sky. Tonight, as I walk across the Mall, I looked to my right and saw the Capitol against a midnight blue sky. I looked to my left and saw the Washington Monument with a light blue sky and a ribbon of red and then black where the sun was already down. The sky was perfectly clear--the very windy day had blown away all the clouds. Remember to look up!


  1. Have to hand it to the Orthodox folks -- it's tough staying in line. Agree, it's very constricting.

    By the way, I like internet acronyms. How else am I going to LOL? My laugh is done by the time I write the whole thing out!

  2. Orthodox Judaism is good if you want a regimented life. While I like structure, a regular work schedule is sufficient for me. And, oh, if you really believe in God and want a constant reminder of that, it's good too.

    The acronym thing is funny. They don't bother me and I love "LOL" and use it all the time. Still, it's not exactly a deal-breaker. If this guy has lots of other rules, though, that could be a problem.

    Hmm, they seem to have something in common, don't they?

  3. I'm with you . . . meet them soon off before the fantasy stuff hits . . . better to know right off whether there is chemistry or not . . . may your dates be fun and entertaining and twinkly :)

  4. Ah, yes, the Internet acronym thing, combined with emoticons. As a rule, men should not use them with a woman they're pursuing with an interest in dating. Close friends? Sure. But there's something vaguely unmanly about it, and, among older men who didn't GROW UP with IM, it just seems creepy. Imagine your dad going all "ROTFLMAO" and then he's like "OMG!!!WTF!?!TMI!!!"
    In one of those scratch-my-crotch, overly manly, Al Bundy moments, I told my younger brother, who DID grow up with IM and who uses these things way too much, that he should cut it out because "That sort of crap is for cheerleaders and quarterbacks."
    His response?

  5. Katherine--thanks!

    Ken--I think WB’s objection to the acronyms was that using such shortcuts is "lazy." I love the story about your brother. I actually did the same thing to WB. After he stated his objection, I responded “lol.” I just couldn’t help myself. (I have to admit to using "lol" as IM filler on occasion.)

    I do think there is a place for emoticons (though I find myself bewildered by the variety available). Before the advent of the primitive smiley, sarcasm could be a dangerous email game indeed! Especially if one is IMing or emailing with strangers, there has to be some way of indication one’s sarcastic sense of humor and a “:)” or “;)” is lot quicker than typing, “Of course, please understand that I am joking. That remark was purely intended as an ironic/ sarcastic/ ridiculous aside.”


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