Wednesday, March 23, 2005

I like to talk

Note on comments: I installed a new commenting system today (Haloscan), which means that the old comments are no longer visible. I do have copies of all comments and if I ever have time, I may enter them into the new system. I miss having your old comments on the posts, but look forward to many more enlightening and friendly exchanges in the future. Please do not hesistate to comment--I will not change the system again.

Yesterday was crazy. I sent a ton of emails. Many to my lawyer from Monday night, some with a new fellow from the site-that-shall-remain-nameless, some with DrG arranging our date. DrG wanted to engage me in conversation, but I resisted.

The lawyer and I had a good email exchange. He wanted to make sure he hadn't pissed me off. I said he had, but it wasn't a big deal and I wasn't even sure why I'd gotten angry. We went back and forth several times. He was apologetic, I was explanatory. I told him why I'd been upset. He said he was just pressing for information, which I knew. It also became clear that he was interested. I'd thought he wasn't. I suggested heading down the friendship track rather than the dating track and he was find with that. It might happen. I'm feeling warmer towards him; like I might actually like him. As I said, he's interesting. Our conversation was good. A bit too meta, but very engaging.

Date with DrG: I am in the Starbucks, it is exactly 8pm (meeting time). DrG calls me and says he will be there in 5 minutes. Great. I think, "Why is he calling me when he's only going to be 5 minutes late?" This cell phone thing has gotten beyond absurd. Of course, such calls are only annoying if one does not like the caller. Sigh.

When DrG arrives, I know it's him right away. The "blind date" look is unmistakable. Plus, the place is empty. He looks enough like his picture. Short-ish, thin, not fit looking (like I should talk--I may not look fit, but I certainly look healthy & vital--he did not). Thinning hair. I try to remember how old he is because he definitely looks over 40. (I checked: he's 38.) His features are a little uneven. The looks thing is so subjective--DrG is goofy looking. I think if I dug him, I would find his looks endearing. As it is, I find him--not to my liking. He's dressed, well, not poorly exactly, just smarmily (bright yellow polo shirt, sport coat length leather jacket, khaki-colored pants). He wears glasses (as do I) but his don't seem to fit right. When he comes in, I'm adding some milk and sugar to my tea. He walks up and he moves in for a hug. That is just way out of control. I am as stiff as a board when he touches me and he only gets one arm around my shoulders. What is he thinking?

We sit down and start to talk. The conversation is not great. I find myself drifting through it. I correct him, but I'm not sure I'm right. (Turns out I was wrong!) I just don't like his attitude. I stare him down. He crumples under my steely gaze. He makes bad jokes. He says something incomprehensible about the geography of Chapel Hill, Greensboro and Durham. He mispronounces "Durham." He claims that Greensboro is a strange place to be a single man because it feels like all the women are married or lesbians. I wish he would quiet down so I could tell a funny story. I've come up with a couple that are good, but he won't let me finish. I think about how I need to get better at letting things go and not always have to finish a story. And I ignore him. I try not to but I'm not interested in anything he has to say. He yawns a lot. He complains that the people who want to hire him don't offer to pay him what he is making now. He doesn't tell me much about what he does and I don't ask. I don't ask what he taught when he was a professor. Sorry, DrG, I never want to see you again. No second chance. You are not for me.

We leave just before 9:00, walk to the metro, he heads to the entrance and I continue to the bus stop. This makes our goodbye abrupt and short because he expects me to follow him to the metro. But, I am outta there. I am happy! I am free! A blissfully short bad (boring) date. My phone rings and it is Mark from the site-that-shall-remain-nameless. I'd only had a couple of emails with him, but I'd given him my number and he said he would call me tonight. Our chat is good. It started out well and kept getting better. He drew me out a little, I told my stories, he laughed. I asked him questions and he answered. I like the sound of his voice. We talked about sports, bad dates, work. I was on. We have tentative plans for Sunday. He said he will call and I believe him.

Grateful for: lots of dates, one good phone conversation and possibilities.

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