Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Is this different?

The whole time with Jake I kept telling myself, "this is different." I've always told myself that with every guy I've ever dated who I liked even a little bit. Some of those guys said, "I don't want to just be another one of your old boyfriend stories." (Jake was one of them.) Well, that's too bad for them. But why? I mean, what an honor. You, sir, have the privilege of living forever in my imagination, and that of my friends, as an old boyfriend story! Heh. Sidetrack.

The point: I continue to believe that each new fellow is different. And each one is, of course. Even though when things were going down with Jake, and I mean spiraling downward, I had this thought, "Not again. How could this happen?" I don't feel like that today. Today I feel like, one way or another, I'm going to meet someone else who I really like and I'm going to think, "this time is different." I think my capacity for that feeling is infinite, for which I am grateful.

In the meantime, I am busy, happy and not sick any more. Hooray!! Only tiniest of sniffles today.

My capacity for sleeping in also knows no bounds. Only half an hour late for work today--nothing tragic. I told someone the other day that I was a morning person in denial. If I don't have to go to work, I'm very productive in the morning. When I have to go to work, I stay in bed and try to pretend I'm too tired to get up instead of puttering around the house. I should just get up really early and putter and still get to work late.

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