Monday, February 28, 2005

Fed up

Everything, except for work, was canceled in DC today due to non-snow. There was snow, fluttering in the air, looking pretty, making things wet, but it didn’t go so far as to stick to anything, or pile up on the ground, so a true non-emergency.

I spent a little time perusing Jdate©, and I gotta say, some people need to work on their lines. Is it too much to ask or too harsh? Here is an example: “open minded, down to earth, honest.... Love artsy movies and hanging out with friends. Have a creative streak and enjoy live music and theater. I'm an excellent listener, am considerate, and always look on the bright side.”

There are a shocking number of creative people on internet dating sites. Way more than I’ve ever met in Real Life. I wonder if I could be described as creative? Whenever I read that I think, “well, I’m creative too. I write (sort of) after all.” But it never, ever occurs to me to describe myself that way. The real problem with the above description is that is it so darn generic. There are a couple of things that are interesting, such as “live music and theater” (is he secretly gay? There are many secretly gay guys lurking around the internet dating sites. And Democratic party fundraisers, but those ones are also secret journalistic Republicans. Sorry, long story.) “Look on the bright side” is cliché, but it does tell me he’s a cheerful guy. “Love artsy movies” is good—he’s not going to always insist on seeing an action movie and we might have similar movie tastes--but he could be more specific (I'm guilty here too, I just say "I'm a film buff" in my profile). Undoubtedly he loved Sideways, but that’s not much of a knock. But the rest of it? Who would say, “I’m a big talker” (ok, I might, but this isn’t about me) or “I’m inconsiderate” or “I’m dishonest.” Since everyone either wants those things (honesty, attention, consideration) they’re hardly worth mentioning. They are also the qualities that we would all like to claim, but may or may not possess. You might think from my unkind dissection of this poor soul’s personal statement that I’m inconsiderate. But, really, honestly, I’m very considerate. Just ask any of my friends. You know me, right? I'm very considerate. I weigh my words, I try and be kind. Oh, wait, you don’t know my friends? You've never met me? You see, that is the problem. No recommendations, no first hand observations, just a bunch of empty hollow description. Damn, online dating sucks.

Grateful for...a really nice IM chat today with a very unsuitable man (he's much too religious for me). Nice to know that there are interesting intelligent guys out there who find me interesting...even if it is online.


  1. If you want to truly have wonderment at how people advertise themselves in other personal ads, check out Hannity's dating service site as described by apostropher on his blog. Oh, boy.

  2. seems like "creative" is also a signal for "I may be exaggerating things here."

  3. Another point: if one is so darn creative, wouldn't one have written a more interesting profile? The exaggeration point is quite right.

  4. one definition of religion i've heard is to re-establish a tie. can someone be too religious?


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