Monday, January 24, 2005

A really good date

I had my second second Jdate on Friday with Jake. He took me to Baltimore to see some friends of his in a band. I knew I liked Jake but I was worried because our conversations didn't seem to have much depth. He picked me up in a ridiculously large SUV which he seemed slightly embarrassed to own.

Jamy: This is your car?
Jake: Yeah.
Jamy: Why?
Jake: So I can bring home all that stuff from Ikea.
Jamy: (laughs)

The drive was uneventful and I think I was giving him directions he didn't need at the end, but he didn't complain, he just let me figure it out and I stopped.

We didn't talk much in the car and I was busy noticing all the silences. Yet, I never felt like I wanted to be somewhere else or with someone else.

We parked and he asked, "Are you ready for this?" I had no idea what he was talking about and I said, "Sure, why wouldn't I be? Is there something I need to be ready for?" He said, "No."

Apparently, what he meant was, was I ready to meet a whole bunch of his friends. They were a group of kooky wannabe rock stars, a bit long in the tooth for such ambitions, but a very friendly bunch. It was clear how much they liked Jake, which pleased me, but didn't surprise me in the least. They also seemed very pleased with me. When one of the group asked us where we met I just smiled and Jake said, "Down in DC." He was just as uncomfortable as I was admitting "the truth." (Of course, we did meet in DC, but still....)

It was one of the smallest bars I've ever seen. A very large room with a bar down one wall and a pressed tin ceiling. It had a grungy, lived in look I like in bars. It was full of punk rock kids with the hair, the zippers, the studs and the attitude. I liked being there with Jake. He wasn't too close or too far. He got us on the list so we didn't pay to get in. Then he kept buying me beer, three in all, but I only drank 2 1/2, which was more than enough.

One of their group, who wasn't really a friend, showed up and didn't have any money. The bandmates asked Jake to go and help her. He went and paid her way in. We all agreed that it was strange that she showed up with no money. I whisper to Jake that I didn't have any money either (not exactly true, but I'd forgotten to go the bank that day). Jake said, "You're in a different situation. You don't have to worry."

This is the thing about Jake. He's a sweetheart, a teddy bear.

The evening went well, the drive home was nice, better than the drive up.

I don't know why it's hard to write about Jake. He makes me feel good. He likes me so much. What's nice is that I like him too. I can see all the good things about him, or at least the things I think are there. He's not perfect, but so sweet, I just can't resist. When we got back to my place he parked and gave me a little peck on the lips. It was no surprise and I was glad. I knew that part of what was going on was how attracted to him I was. I kept, and keep, wondering who he reminds me of, why I feel I know him. I asked him if he wanted to come in and he did. I got settled, got us some water and put on a record (yes, an actual LP). We sat, kissed a little. It wasn't this kind of passionate out of control kissing. It was sweet, tentative, take-it-slow-because-we-have-plenty-of-time kissing. I was a little nervous and happy. I was talking to myself, in my head, but not to him. I was thinking how funny it was that I'd ended up with him, a veritable stranger, a Jdate guy even, and we were kissing on my couch. It just didn't seem quite right, but it seemed just right. And I also felt like the questions I'd had about him before the date hadn't been answered at all. I told Jake I was nervous. I said I didn't feel like I knew him very well. I said that he didn't talk very much about himself. He said he was sorry, he didn't mean not to talk. I said it was ok and he shouldn't feel bad (he seemed to feel bad). He seemed to think I wanted to hear more about his old girlfriends, which wasn't really the point, but it was fine. Just that he was making an effort meant a lot. He said it was hard for him to remember that stuff that he just forgot all the bad things and he had to think really hard to remember. I found that odd, but almost exactly the same thing a male friend of mine said to me recently.

We sat there, talking, kissing and listening to music for a couple of hours. He left at 4:30am. Before he left, I asked him if we wanted to go watch football with me and Heather on Sunday and he quickly said yes. He went home and I went to sleep.

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