I had a second date with Ethan and I'm pretty sure that will be our last date. It was nice, he took me to a fancy dinner and a concert at the Kennedy Center. The kind of evening that, I suppose, I can afford, but that I won't usually spring for. Most of my friends are too poor for that and I'm too frugal. I had a couple of qualms about accepting, but I knew he didn't expect anything and actually liked taking me out and I liked the treat so it was ok. The concert was good; I enjoyed it more than I'd expected to. But I was staring to feel uncomfortable with him. He was a little goofy. Our dynamic was similar to the first date, he listened, I talked. He talked a little. He said something about us talking about sad things too much, the same comment he'd made the first evening. I found that comment to be…odd. Maybe I don't notice the sad things. I'd mentioned my dad and how we'd been fighting. He asked me, so I told the whole story of a recent fight with Dad. I actually didn't think it was particularly sad…though it certainly isn't happy. With Dad, I usually feel annoyed and frustrated. But I never play these stories for pathos, just sympathy and yucks, if I can get them. I always aim for the laugh.
I don't know if I should give this guy more time. I was pretty sure I wouldn't go out with him again until he was driving me home and asked if he made me uncomfortable. I guess I knew what he was getting at but I said no, I wouldn't put it that way. Eventually I said, I don't feel romantic about you. It was odd, I didn't want to directly reject him. I mostly had a nice time with him. Not a fantastic time. Not a bad time. We sat in his car in front of my place for a while and we talked and it was the best conversation of the evening. At one point he told me he waited six months before he kissed his wife. I guffawed. I said, "I would have broken up with you!" Later I said, "Well, if you're going to take six months to make a move, we can go out again." He did laugh. He wanted to ask me out again, but I asked him to give me some time to think. I guess I'm still thinking. He was extremely nice and complimentary towards me, which I enjoyed. I kind of felt like I was dating my dad. That's not so good.
I'm grateful that I have the opportunity to date some nice, generous men, even if I don't want to marry them. It's not a bad thing.