Thursday, January 05, 2012

Intriguing

A friend told me my recent blog posts were intriguing. I apologize for being elliptical, but I've always drawn a certain line on the blog disclosure and that line stays, given that my anonimity is paper thin. Unfortunately, while I thought I might have a bit of dating or romance or something burgeoning, it turns out I was mistaken. I have no regrets and my anxiety has passed. I think I actually had a sense that, despite the many intense words exchanged between me and mr.-possible-romance, the situation was too impossible to actually result in anything long-lasting--or short-lasting for that matter. I won't lie--I am disapointed. The prospect of having a boyfriend was attractive and I actually like this guy. That seemed good, a possible good start to something. A good omen? Something to worry about other than work? Lots of...exercise? Anyway, it wasn't meant to be and I am much better at accepting that outcome than I used to be--something to be grateful for. I'm also grateful that we didn't drag something out that he had already decided was doomed. Best to leave it at: we had fun, no regrets, and goodbye. (Full disclosure--we didn't actually, formally, say goodbye. Our conversation was something like this:

Boy: Um, I'm more interested in something casual, ok?

Girl: Sure, but, uh, why did you say all that serious stuff?

Boy: Uh, I do that. Sorry.

Girl: Um, ok...

Boy: But we can do something this weekend...

Girl: Okaaay, sounds good, I'm around this weekend.

I fully expect that he won't call/text (I made the first contact and won't be making the second) and that we won't see each other this weekend or ever again.)

So--oh well! On the good news side, I read several installments ahead on Ulysses today. I'm semi-confident that I will read the whole book via email. Bizarre! AT this rate though, it will still take around six months.

Oh, and I'm on a pretty good yoga regime. It's kicking my butt, but I'm starting to crave it. I've been going about every other day, but tonight will make two nights in a row. Hope that's not a mistake. Guess I'll know by tomorrow.

Grateful for: perspective, late though it may be.

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