Saturday, May 21, 2011

Sigh

I made a promise a while ago and I feel like a bad person because I'm having a devil of a time keeping it. I promised to do a book review for an academic journal and I haven't been able to read the book. I can't say if the topic is interesting because the book is so jargon-riddled that I can't make much sense of it. While I think it would be legitimate to include that observation in the review, I don't think I can simply stop reading at page 50 of a 300 page book. I'm sitting at one of my favorite coffee shops with every intention of cranking something out. A woman sitting next to me is writing a paper or something and is now reading her document out loud as though that is a completely unremarkable action. Really? Maybe she should pretend to be on her cell phone.

I made it almost a full week with no supervisor craziness. Then she sent me an email on Friday with less than 30 minutes left in the work day that made me lose my mind. It was insulting, implied that I wasn't using my time appropriately and changed a long-standing policy in the office. Yes! She managed to do all that in an email of approximately three lines. Fool that I am, I responded. It was nearly quitting time. I could have just ignored it and told her that I missed it and dealt with her non-issue on Monday. Instead I struck up an email debate that I basically can't win, no matter how right I am. I can't win because she won't change. Yet, to concede to her was offensive to me. To answer her questions implied that I was doing something wrong, so I answered one, but explained why I thought the inquiry was unfair and inappropriate. But, I should have STOPPED. ANSWERED. LET IT GO.

I'm still trying and that's all I can do. Now I'm going to try and read at least a few more pages of this god-awful book.

Grateful for: second chances.

2 comments:

  1. I have the same inability to let something like that go sometimes too. Maybe you should look for something else -- if you don't see anything good, it might make you more tolerant of her poor supervisory skills b/c you'll feel like you have to make the best of it? I know you're not looking for advice, I'm just trying to throw out something b/c I've also had bad bosses and I can tell it's really bugging you.

    Anon11

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  2. Oh, it's a huge problem. The reason I don't just leave is that I'm loving the work now. It's leave, and miss the chance to do some truly innovative projects, or stay and find some way to live with a supervisor who knows how to punch my buttons.

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