Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Fascinating

So, I had this blind date tonight. It was fine. The guy was nice. But really, how would I know? I couldn't stop talking. This happens to me sometimes when I'm nervous. I talk a lot normally but tonight the poor guy could barely get a word in. (I'm exaggerating. He did make time to tell me he'd been divorced twice and a bit about his family.) Luckily (?), I could tell that he liked my talking. And that he liked me. That's nice, but I'm not in the mood.

Stray observations: he said, "You look exactly like your pictures." I took that as compliment.

Later on, he said, "Your smile is just like Sandra Bullock." That one is funny. Here's why: years ago, I was watching a Sandra Bullock movie with Tom, my grad school boyfriend. I said, "I think I kind of look like her. What do you think?" He said, "Her? She's just a girl from the neighborhood. You're much prettier."

Things I talked about on my date: my old car, my current car, how I got my current car (long story about Mom), my crazy family, my college mentor, sudden death and work. He was very attentive and interested in my stories. He thought things went well and that we should get together again, even just as friends.

Unfortunately, I don't know if I like him well enough to be friends, since I did most of the talking.  I did tell him I wasn't much in the mood to date (not on the date! in the email). I didn't cancel because I didn't want to be rude. I don't regret going to meet him but I don't know if I want to see him again. What I didn't like was how "on" I was. That's really the only reason I don't want to date--I am not in the mood to be in "date mode." I was so "up" during our meeting that I was almost jittery! I wasn't even attracted to the guy. Geez.  I tried to remember what it felt like when I first met Kent--sure, I was a little nervous and definitely chatty, but I didn't care. I wasn't looking for a boyfriend (or even a hook-up), things just happened. And that's why I should never go on blind dates. It's impossible for me to approach them with no expectations, calmly, with friendship in mind. Sigh.

But work is still going well, so there's that! SMILE.

Grateful for: good stories.

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