Sunday, October 04, 2009

Working

It's Sunday and I'm at the office. My presence isn't due to any virtuous work ethic on my part. Rather, since I didn't work on Yom Kippur, I agreed to come in today to make up for it--and not have to use up my scanty annual leave.

While I had to drag myself in and arrived much later than I should have, I've actually gotten a lot done. I stuck to clearing up the backlog of reading material waiting for comments (should I have them--none so far). I find this reading tedious at best and almost impossible to do with the normal office sounds happening in our cubicle land. It's very hard to do with headphone on too, though I do have a little music playing quietly over speakers, which does help. Otherwise the silence is too creepy.

Update: remember the Good Samaritan who helped me with my fence? When he came back to finish up, I gave him cookies. He started eating them immediately, so we'll take that as a sign that I "did the right thing." I also asked if I could call him if I needed help with anything else and he said yes. I may have a new handyman, which would be great.

I am also very happy that the overwhelming work craziness has subsided. I'm kind of busy at work, which always makes me happier. I hope to continue to keep busy and find things to do that interest me. The new supervisor arrives in about a week and let's hope she values my contribution and can help me get what I want out of this job. In the meantime, I'll keep looking and try to apply for those one or two sort of interesting things that I've seen. It's so hard. Oh inertia, how constant you are.

I'm knitting a TON. I have about seven projects of various sizes going. That's extreme--usually I like to have three things going--something easy, something complicated, and something big but simple. Instead I'm making a fairly simple scarf/stole, a complicated but small scarf, two pairs of socks (one complicated, one simple), a very simple hat, an very complicated stole and a sweater. The sweater is for me (most of that other stuff is for me too, but you never know what I'll end up giving away) and I was nearly done but had to rip it way back. Now I think I should probably start over. It was good practice working out the numbers and all but it's got so many issues that I'm not sure it will ever be wearable. Starting all over again, knowing what I know now, might be the wise thing to do. In the meantime, though, I think I'll work though my other projects and decide later.

Also, somewhat to my amazement, I still have a boyfriend. He was supportive during my minor work-induced mental breakdown. Now, was he perfect? No. I could imagine getting different responses at times that might have made me happier...but here's the thing: the person who might have given me those responses couldn't figure out how to actually be in my life. So, you know. Showing up is key. And Curt is here--he wants to be here and even when it was hard for him, he stuck around. Since my mood has leveled out, we're having a much better time together. I suppose that might not seem like such a big deal but it is a big deal. The frustration hasn't lingered...and I am so relieved that we get a chance to be together when things are easy. Not perfect...but what does that mean?

I am feeling more contented with things than I have for a while now, which is great. And I guess I'll be ready for work on Monday...I hope!

Grateful for: the people who stick around.

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