Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Saddle up

I am trying to get myself on this writing horse. Since I'm going to the movies like it's a job, it feels that I ought to do some writing about it. I did, in fact, write ONE review (geez!) longhand but I've been slow to transcribe it. That said, I wondered if I could make some kind of deal with myself--if I go to a movie, I must write something about it. Long, short, review, reflection, story, doesn't matter. Not a terrible idea, but where do I get the internal motivation? I have lots of similarly bright ideas but relatively little follow through. Bah.

I can't seem to shake this vague guilt I have about being lazy / unproductive. I can't forget about it but I can't quite do anything about it either. Even a tiny bit of productivity would go a long way--heck, I'm not even writing in the blog every day! How lazy can I get? It seems that I'm going to find out.

I will say, the amount of mental work I'm doing is pretty astounding (I attribute it to the extreme amounts of alone time). Thus, this time is not wasted, it's just being used differently than I expected. Which, actually, isn't all that unexpected because I knew there was a good chance I wouldn't be motivated enough to write. Yes, writing a novel is my dream, but not every dream must be realized. Not working for six months is a damn good dream too, and well worth realizing. So is living in Paris for six months. If I make use of that time in not quite as demonstrable ways as putting words on paper, that hardly makes it a waste.

Ah, sigh. I feel better now!

Grateful for: motivation.

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