Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Upside down

Last night I spoke to my friend, Mike. I've mentioned him before. Remember the tale of the imaginary boyfriend? He was dreamed up to put Mike's jealous wife at ease.

I haven't talked to Mike for a long time. Given that I'm about to leave the country for an extended period, I've been thinking about old friends and I decided to get in touch with Mike. I tried calling, but his numbers didn't work. I sent him an email and asked him to call me. He wrote back and said he would. He did, last night.

His reaction to Paris was, "That sounds like fun. It's good to take time off and get away."

Just like Mike to be so matter-of-fact. Whenever I used to get carried away by my emotions, I could rely on Mike to strike that rational, but kind, note.

We talked for about forty-five minutes--I updated him on my family, my visits to Israel, my job troubles.

And then Mike told me that his marriage was over. Wow.

It does sound like it's for the best. I knew something was wrong because of things he said the last few times we saw each other. When he started to complain about her my thought was, "leave me out of it. Call me when you get divorced." I didn't say it.

From what he told me, his wife was jealous and controlling in regard to ALL of his outside relationships--not just ours. I'm not so special. I feel dumb for thinking I was, that I was somehow singled out...but he had given me that impression. Well, maybe it got worse over the years...10 years, that's how long they've been married (I thought it was longer, but that's what Mike said).

While Mike didn't seem unhappy, I'm still reeling. I don't know why I feel sad. I should feel happy--and I do feel happy, because I'm going to get my friend back. I can call Mike now, whenever I want, with no worries. Maybe he'll even call me. That would be something.

I feel bad because I wasn't there for him. But he didn't ask me--and it would have been inappropriate to ask. He did the right thing. I guess I wish he'd needed me--and that's just selfish. If he needs me now, I'll be there, and that's what makes sense.

I do wish I were going to be around in June when he's coming to DC for work. I'd really like to see him. It will have to wait--but it will happen. We have plenty of time.

Grateful for: getting my friend back.

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