With TR (office buddy)
Jamy: I really hit the jackpot with this guy, Catholic, Military, probably Republican, separated-but-not-divorced...
TR: You know what he's thinking? She's really great, but she's so liberal, she's Jewish and she's never been married!
Jamy (laughing, hard): That's perfect!
Spesh: I don't believe in dating.
Jamy: Why not?
Spesh: It's too contrived.
Jamy: So how am I supposed to see this guy again? Am I not supposed to make plans? You know, you and I go out on dates all the time.
Spesh: What? What do you mean?
Jamy: A date is just a plan to do something. We made a plan just last night to go to the movies. I could say we're dating (but I wouldn't). A date is just a plan.
Spesh: That's all right then.
Jamy: We know I like him…because I know how I react when I don't like someone. I want to get away. But with Tim…I didn't want to get away. I didn't know how to end the date--things were going so well. Thank goodness for houseguests! All of my behavior indicates that I like him. Is that weird?
Pele: That doesn't bother me. He respected those boundaries, which is important. I know you like him. That's clear. I'm not worried about that...
Jamy: It's funny, I've written about other guys on the blog and I really liked them but they didn't get such a positive reaction from the readers. Everyone seems to love Tim.
Pele: That's because you showed us what he was like, you didn't try and convince us. You are very convincing, but we can tell the difference.
Jamy: I just feel this sort of inevitability...like it's happening to me.
Pele: I don't like that you're disconnected from him that way. It has to do with the divorce issue.
Jamy: It does. It's nothing about him. I know I like him. I know it, but the divorce just triggers all these feelings. There may be an issue with him, but we don't know that yet. I have to figure out my feelings first.
Note to self: resolve continuing neurosis related to childhood trauma caused by parents' divorce before Thursday in order to assess feelings about Tim more clearly. No problem!
Grateful for: knowing which problems are mine.